Feeling like an alien.

A month has passed now since I was diagnosed as autistic,  I just feel totally lost, I know it often comes up that autistic people feel like aliens in this world, I can honestly say I don’t feel part of  this world at all, I don’t feel I ever have. I spend less and less time with people, they are too hard to navigate and seem cruel most of the time 

I seem to have no emotions, I feel neither happy or sad, I just seem to exist. I got into trouble with a family member at the weekend for not showing empathy over an event. Am I supposed to make up emotions to please others, Is this all part of the mask?

Sorry, just venting.

Parents
  • I wrote lots and changed my mind.

    The solution is to find a purpose, it could be work, hobby, church, personal life, writing a book, painting, etc.

    Life seems to be about distracting yourself so you don't think too much.

    Find a distraction, get tired, don't think about yourself. This is all I have. 

    If you can, focus on others, if you have anyone and if you don't wind them up too much.

    I want to turn the clock back 30 years but I can't. I either have to come to terms with that or give up. For me it has all been hollow. Maybe there is no substance.

  • Thank you for replying, most definitely, I would love to go back 30 years and have a word with the younger me. I’m not sure wether he would listen though. One of the stages of grief is acceptance, in one way my diagnosis answered a lot of questions for me, but I still feel like an imposter. Most here are massive book  readers, I’ve read two books in my entire life, it was explained at my assessment that I probably have dyslexia and a processing disorder, it doesn’t stop me just feeling stupid. I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself.

    Im trying to get back into my classic car work, the flame just hasn’t reignited yet, I’m sure it will.

  • I very nearly did listen to someone 30 years ago but was too scared. I can't shake the idea I've messed my life up, even though things were very different then. 

    I am trying to find them to talk. They knew me better than I knew myself. Odds are not great though.

Reply Children
No Data