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Fearing work nowadays

Autismman

Nowadays I fear going to work, the constant changes and mood of certain staff. I’m not one of those who can just get on with it or compartmentalise feelings or thoughts when it comes to work. I don’t even want to work anywhere, I just want to live and be happy without someone else telling me I’ve got to do this at this time and that at that time. I’m 37 but over the last year or so I’ve felt very different towards my workplace but I’m not able to connect the exact thoughts I’m having with their real meaning or what it is my emotions are trying to say because the logical driver at the wheel drowns them out. Emotions usually help guide a choice leading to the emotionally desired outcome but that’s like talking to a brick wall for me, emotions are a language I struggle to interpret. It would be a huge change also either just walk out or change jobs, I’ve been at this place almost 20 years and I’ll admit I seem to associate a lot of things like work and others with my overall identity and sense of wellbeing so I feel a bit of a prisoner in my own mind I suppose.

Parents

  • Hi. It is so very hard, isn't it. The last time I changed jobs, 12 months ago, I promised myself I would NEVER do it again. I found the change incredibly difficult to cope with. Especially being accepted by a whole new group of workmates. To be honest, it has been a complete nightmare.

    When I was thinking about this last change, my reason was feeling increadibly unhappy at my previous work. Mainly, because of a breakdown with the relationship with my line manager. It was quite a complicated situation with a fair amount of back story. I think I could have probably worked things out with her, but at the time, it was making me ill. So, I left.

    When I was trying to work out the choice I wanted to make, there are two metaphors that came to my mind. But I'm sure you have already thought about these too. : The grass in greener' and 'Better the devil you know'

    That said. Sometimes things just get so bad, so toxic, that anything else has to be better.

    Best wishes for your big choices.

    x Mrs Snooks

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  • Hi. It is so very hard, isn't it. The last time I changed jobs, 12 months ago, I promised myself I would NEVER do it again. I found the change incredibly difficult to cope with. Especially being accepted by a whole new group of workmates. To be honest, it has been a complete nightmare.

    When I was thinking about this last change, my reason was feeling increadibly unhappy at my previous work. Mainly, because of a breakdown with the relationship with my line manager. It was quite a complicated situation with a fair amount of back story. I think I could have probably worked things out with her, but at the time, it was making me ill. So, I left.

    When I was trying to work out the choice I wanted to make, there are two metaphors that came to my mind. But I'm sure you have already thought about these too. : The grass in greener' and 'Better the devil you know'

    That said. Sometimes things just get so bad, so toxic, that anything else has to be better.

    Best wishes for your big choices.

    x Mrs Snooks

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