I’m leaving the area and moving away after years of turmoil with ex and wanted to write a goodbye letter to him because of how deeply I cared for him and everything we went through. He’s always denied being on the spectrum but his behaviour isn’t normal and all of his friends and even his brother note he definitely is whether diagnosed or not. He will pursue me after each time we break up over a minor conflict or dispute or the pillows aren’t comfy enough or he is too tired and drunk to engage and his reaction would be to start screaming at top of his voice pulling his hair then run down to the canal in the middle of the night or drink drive off in his car followed by days of silent treatment from him
being an alcoholic doesn’t help him either
he’s even called cops before and made up false allegations to try to get me arrested and later confessing he just had to get me out of the house or else he would have hit me, as I was complaining about what to have for supper, and he was particularly wasted
more calling them saying that I’m controlling and coercing him when I try to pull him away from his car when he’s about to drive off drunk
The First time I didn’t speak to him for about 9 months and he stalked me turning up trying to speak to me or just sitting looking at me with my new chap, looking confused in the local which is miles from his and nobody likes him in there, and having to pay to get back and forth every other day or long walk when he doesn’t have much money
since he walked out of his stable job because he felt his colleagues bullied him
he regularly lies about what he is doing for work and exaggerates successful careers he has had and does now or is about to
most of which he doesn’t complete or doesn’t have the capability to
he does the gait where he doesn’t swing his arms and avoids eye contact and can’t tackle a football off my little boy
so has a bad reputation for being a werid, angry, dramatic, pathetic lying idiot locally as everyone has witnessed this with us being well known because he was dj in the little local pub and I am bartender and we had a near fatal car crash that was all over published where he drove drunk into a brick wall at 60mph and I had to learn to walk again
because he was overstimulated I’m presuming now, he’s admitted I was nagging him as he was driving, he had someone try to start a fight with him earlier for no reason too and was about to get evicted from his flat
I’ve been sworn by my friends not to respond or speak to him ever again as usually when he eventually gets chance to speak to me alone he tells me he wants me to be his wife and that he is heartbroken every time I would listen to other people and not him
But deep down I feel sorry for the guy and just don’t know how to deal with him or approach him and all along we felt he was just being evil and abusive and sneaky but after hearing about autistic meltdowns and then the silence they do after I suddenly feel really bad for my goodbye message where I basically compared him to a serial killer
I don’t know if I’ve been too harsh and the guy genuinely suffers and has a heart
he denies having Asperger’s or whatever but it’s just so obvious
he will sit and watch planes fly and track them on an app getting extremely exited about this and also flavours of crisps and ford mondeos
the guys quite funny without meaning to be, he’s unaware why people are amused especially his blank expressions and how he seems to flinch at his own shadow
it’s hard to stay mad at him but he can be so nasty in his meltdowns
does it sound like autistic spectrum behaviour? I just don’t understand how someone who fits that would be a DJ or even want to be in a pub every day full of people but he does tend to some days be sociable and others sit alone ignoring people he previously was polite and friendly to, and says he feels safe in his dj box
Not really sure how to handle the goodbye because I’ve dealt with it as if he’s intentional and evil which I thought was the case until I’ve read some info about autism and the last 6 years have made sense and it’s heart breaking and just can’t really relate to how he feels
all just seems unnecessary as I felt connected to him with my soul
thanks x
