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I messed up my assessment

Duncan

I messed up the ASD assessment. As usual in stressful situations, I fell into masking and downplayed my struggles with obsessive behaviour and dealing with change. As such my diagnosis was that I don’t fit the definition of a person with ASD. I disagree but failed to communicate that. 

I read someone else had a similar experience which struck a chord with me  

“I actually messed up my answers regarding special interests and obsessions, because I never really thought that much about them (I just thought they were hobbies that many people have, but on later reflection they are more intense than that), so I said I liked lots of stuff, and we kind of ended the topic there. I mainly talked about sensory difficulties and communication/socialising difficulties”

This explains exactly how I feel about my assessment. I was concentrating on how I cope with obsession and change etc rather than how they affect me as that’s what we do. We try to show people we are coping.

Anyone else had a similar experience? Any advice on what to do next? Why is the assessment just talking to me, someone they know has trouble communicating? Do others feel they struggle to advocate for themselves? It has been a constant issue in my life. 

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  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    Thanks. I have left a message for the assessor along those lines. How I was concentrating on how I cope rather than how I feel. Survival mode. Can’t look weak.

    Previous to the video call I filled in forms, and I did have another person (my mother who I also believe to be on the spectrum) fill in similar forms, but in the interview it was just me and the doctor. 

    Thanks also for your kind words. I definitely fall foul of the intense masking then blame myself for not being honest. It’s comforting to speak to people who have similar experiences. 

  • in reply to Duncan

    I would not wait for the report. 

    As Jalapeno suggested - I would contact them as soon as possible.

    Try to explain to them that you are distressed because you believe decades of masking in stressful situations means you are worried that, again, you really struggled to step away from that approach during the virtual assessment. 

    You could describe to them that you feel that you were "concentrating on how I cope with obsession and change etc rather than how they affect me as that’s what we do. We try to show people we are coping."

    I was a little surprised that you experienced: "Why is the assessment just talking to me" - were you / the assessors not able to reach out to also talk with people in your household / friends or relatives who have known you across a number of years (as an adult or as a child)?

    I fully appreciate it can be very difficult to have / even want access to a relative who knew you as a child. 

    I didn't do that. 

    Instead, my assessor spoke to someone who had lived in my household when I was an adult (they are perhaps more likely to have experienced you in "less-masking-mode"?).

    I would be really surprised if your experience of battling with a virtual assessment setting, as an adult client, was at all uncommon.

    After all, by the very nature of us being adults; it naturally follows that: our survival mode / default stance often tends to be "mask for all you are worth!".

    Do please be kind to yourself. 

    Give yourself credit for having navigated the assessment process.

    I am sure you did your utmost in difficult circumstances.