Managing overwhelm at work

It is fear of the unknown. I used to have this a lot when younger.

The main things are:

1. To have adequate notice. The initial shock and fear will be there but you will have some time to prepare. Once you have slept on something it seems less bad. 
2. To break things down into smaller tasks so it does not seem so scary. You will find some of them you can do. You can ask for help or delegate on others. You can look to see what was done before.

Notice the initial feeling, then go get a cup of tea and think of something else. Once the shock has gone you will be able to have some ideas.

You don't have to know the answer to everything. It is ok to get back to people or ask for tine to check something.

I have managed to go from being terrified to use a phone or say hello to someone and stammering, to being able to stand up in international standards meetings with 100+ people, mostly strangers, and talk using a microphone, or present in  boardrooms. I even do things off the top of my head, as long as it's in a familiar environment.

Of course some new things still make me anxious, it never goes and I hate the feeling in my chest and the sweaty palms, but you learn to manage it. It diminishes with confidence.

You would not be in your position if they thought you couldn't do it. You don't need to be perfect, just as good as anyone else. If no one else could do it any better then you don't have to be hard on yourself.

My biggest critic was myself. I always wanted things to be super polished and professional. But you can only do what you can do. It takes a long time to become comfortable with that.

You are right, I seem to have a deadly fear of the unknown. I have a need to be perfect and have an answer for everything or it means I am stupid and being judged. I know in my logical mind that not everyone can have an answer for everything all of the time, and it's perfectly okay for me to not know and be honest about it, but the dread of it eats me up and in turn creates a worse environment mentally. 

That is really helpful advice and actually really helped my situation yesterday. I think you're right that the fear and shock takes control and I think of every worst case scenario and only that. I will ruminate for weeks on end until it is over and I feel physically ill because of it. So stepping away and having a breather really helped.

I will look at breaking it down and implementing this in future also. I really appreciate your time and advice. i struggle with being my biggest critic and that is at my own detriment, so definitely something to work on.

I have this year, at 56 years old, finally realised what a healthy relationship with work is supposed to be.

I have spent all my life prioritising work over everything. I never understood how other people had holidays, a private life, did things on their time off, had relationships, etc.

My record was 110 hrs in one week, but I did 70+ hrs every week for 15 years. I did not take time off in lieu, travelled in my own time etc.

I took it far too seriously. I am not sure why, I think I wanted to get approval or status, I think I wanted things to go well and took it all too personally. No one else did to the same extent.

I just do 40 hrs a week now and just work at a steady pace.

I would say try to set some boundaries, don't think the world is on your shoulders, be clear what you need to deliver, don't think everything needs to be perfect. If you need help then ask, don't do it all yourself. If you can, delegate, get training if needed if you struggle with this. Don't try to cover for everyone else, which is what I did. Other people also need to deliver. It is your job to manage this not to do everything yourself.

Try to make time to smile and find ways to switch off at home, with drinking a bottle of wine preferably.

I have this year, at 56 years old, finally realised what a healthy relationship with work is supposed to be.

I have spent all my life prioritising work over everything. I never understood how other people had holidays, a private life, did things on their time off, had relationships, etc.

My record was 110 hrs in one week, but I did 70+ hrs every week for 15 years. I did not take time off in lieu, travelled in my own time etc.

I took it far too seriously. I am not sure why, I think I wanted to get approval or status, I think I wanted things to go well and took it all too personally. No one else did to the same extent.

I just do 40 hrs a week now and just work at a steady pace.

I would say try to set some boundaries, don't think the world is on your shoulders, be clear what you need to deliver, don't think everything needs to be perfect. If you need help then ask, don't do it all yourself. If you can, delegate, get training if needed if you struggle with this. Don't try to cover for everyone else, which is what I did. Other people also need to deliver. It is your job to manage this not to do everything yourself.

Try to make time to smile and find ways to switch off at home, with drinking a bottle of wine preferably.