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Managing overwhelm at work

Remigirl

As a manager at work, tasks can often include confronting tasks (or what feel confronting). E.g. facilitating workshops or training sessions with people that are completely new and unfamiliar to me. This sends me into a state of fight or flight instantly when I hear about the task. I fear ALL of it, not knowing how to act/speak, what questions will people ask and what if I don't know the answers, and so on.

I'm wondering if anyone experiences similar feelings/experiences within their work setting and how they manage it? 

It often feels unmanageable and I try to ground myself in the moment but end up feeling consumed by it and trying to find a way out. However, with it being part of my role sometimes this isn't an option.

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  • Remigirl said:
    I fear ALL of it, not knowing how to act/speak, what questions will people ask and what if I don't know the answers, and so on.

    There are 2 prongs to the approach I would take in your situation and they worked well for me.

    1 - Ask for management training on the subjects you are dealing with. This will make sure you know how it should be done, what sort of stuff is likely to be asked and should also include roleplay to get you practiced in dealing with the stuff that scares you.

    This should build your confidence and capabilities.

    2 - for personal development learn how to apply mindfulness. It will help you in your prep and with practice in managing the anxiety.

    You will learn how to manage the "what if" scenarios by capturing them on paper and applying reason to contro them. There will always be something you did not anticipate so scripting a response for this (sort of a "I'll need to check into this and get back to you" appoach) is the most effective way of isolating these from interfering with the rest of the session.

    If you can afford it then working with a psychotherapist is a great option to deal with the anxiety too. It is also a great forum for understanding why you have these fears (often they are trauma responses) and can help you get more control over them which is a great way to lowering stress overall in your life.

    I was able to move from a nervous team manager to senior project manager running board meetings with two merging companies within a few months by doing this. Having good training at your disposal and ideally a mentor (or at a push, a coach) is a great way to work on your weaknesses while benefitting your employer.

    There will always be a nagging imposter syndrome in the back of your mind in my experience but trust your training and track record and it is surprising what you can achieve in spite of being autistic.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you so much for your response, in providing practical support and emotional validation. You have given me an outlook into something that was causing me a great deal of anxiety, almost to the point of I need to quit as I am not good enough ( which seems to be a common theme in my life). 

    I will most definitely be looking into a therapist as this is something I have been back and forth with for some time. Also looking to implement more training to help me feel better equipped. Thank you again for your inspiration and support. 

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  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you so much for your response, in providing practical support and emotional validation. You have given me an outlook into something that was causing me a great deal of anxiety, almost to the point of I need to quit as I am not good enough ( which seems to be a common theme in my life). 

    I will most definitely be looking into a therapist as this is something I have been back and forth with for some time. Also looking to implement more training to help me feel better equipped. Thank you again for your inspiration and support. 

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