Finding work more and more intolerable

Really struggling today, work is just mentally and emotionally exhausting. I am not sure what’s changed, if it’s me or the environment but I suspect a bit of both but it’s gotten dramatically worse over the past year or so. The mood is low, the expectations high and trust non existent. I do not know my place there or what my core duties or responsibilities are any longer. I feel responsible without the knowledge of what I’m exactly responsible for. Not sure if I should be picking up on vibes they want me gone or that I’m just being over sensitive. I struggle to accept that I am a valued member of their team. My anxiety has been particularly bad but it’s a lot worse when I’m there. I do not think talking to anyone there would create any positive outcome any longer. I find myself almost zoning out of focus and losing my concentration, it’s like a forced response but I’m not at the wheel. All I know is it takes me a good sleep if I can and a day away from the place to feel normal till the dread of the next shift arrives. Not sure I will stick this job out for too much longer, it just makes me miserable and obsessed over every possible thing that might go wrong. 

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  • words say a lot: "their team" as opposed to "my team".  Me too about lots of what you write.  Alienation in the workplace is perhaps an issue that correlates with difficulties people with autism experience from a lack of acceptance and fitting in with neurotypical structures. - if that is the case :-)  Whatever you do take care for yourself.  Zoning out for me is helped by "grounding techniques" to get back into the present moment.  Have you tried such things  ?

  • I haven’t tried any ground techniques, how do you do this? Alienation is a good word, I’ll have to use that more often. 

  • There are (as far as I understand it - mine is experience based rather than professional advice) internalised processes where one deliberately focuses attention on how one's body feels or how one is breathing for example - (I was once a martial arts teacher and so did a lot of these) or some that use focus on external processes like what one can see or hear.  I have recently used the "five things technique" where one identifies five things one can see, four things one can hear, three things one can feel, two things that can be smelled (sometimes need to draw these from memory!), and one thing one can taste.  For me this provide a sort of "sensory reset" to get me back into the moment - if that makes sense?  

  • Maybe you are just bored.

    good call :-)  lack of stimulation?  Maybe investigating what the core duties and responsibilities are and "really getting stuck in " to them?

  • Another simple one is to wash your hands in cold water, or splash it on your face.which is a bit less easy.

    If you are stuck at a desk just standing up and walking around will help. You should get up every 45 mins for a few mins anyway.

    Maybe you are just bored.

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