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Finding work more and more intolerable

Autismman

Really struggling today, work is just mentally and emotionally exhausting. I am not sure what’s changed, if it’s me or the environment but I suspect a bit of both but it’s gotten dramatically worse over the past year or so. The mood is low, the expectations high and trust non existent. I do not know my place there or what my core duties or responsibilities are any longer. I feel responsible without the knowledge of what I’m exactly responsible for. Not sure if I should be picking up on vibes they want me gone or that I’m just being over sensitive. I struggle to accept that I am a valued member of their team. My anxiety has been particularly bad but it’s a lot worse when I’m there. I do not think talking to anyone there would create any positive outcome any longer. I find myself almost zoning out of focus and losing my concentration, it’s like a forced response but I’m not at the wheel. All I know is it takes me a good sleep if I can and a day away from the place to feel normal till the dread of the next shift arrives. Not sure I will stick this job out for too much longer, it just makes me miserable and obsessed over every possible thing that might go wrong. 

Parents

  • I'm sorry that your feeling this way. I have been through something similar and it really sucks :( For me, I ended up being signed off for a while and then changing jobs all together to something a lot more relaxed and with a lot less pressure. I am fortunate to still live at home and to have been able to do this as I know not everyone is able to. I would say it sounds like you might be in burnout and if it is possible for you a good break and reset may be needed. I have found then once you start to feel a bit better your head is a bit clearer on what is best for you moving forwards. I would also say if a break is not an option for you maybe do consider speaking to your employers as I believe they are legally obligated to make reasonable adjustments or maybe look into access to work, I have not used them myself but have heard good things (Access to Work: get support if you have a disability or health condition: What Access to Work is - GOV.UK). Most importantly make sure to prioritise yourself and your health over a job. Sending lots of love your way <3

  • in reply to MJJ24

    Really appreciate your reply, it’s nice to know I’m not feeling something abnormal or over reacting. I almost need that confirmation because I am never too sure myself about how I feel or big decisions. You are right though I have to do what’s best for me, short term pain long term gain so they say. There is almost too much pressure for me personally in the job and that’s something that’s only been building and building recently, too much pressure for one may not be for another but knowing my limit or what’s acceptable for me is another struggle. I had been signed off earlier this year, I was really well done, cooked and burnt. It’s weird because I don’t really remember how that burnout felt, all I know is it wasn’t fun.

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  • in reply to MJJ24

    Really appreciate your reply, it’s nice to know I’m not feeling something abnormal or over reacting. I almost need that confirmation because I am never too sure myself about how I feel or big decisions. You are right though I have to do what’s best for me, short term pain long term gain so they say. There is almost too much pressure for me personally in the job and that’s something that’s only been building and building recently, too much pressure for one may not be for another but knowing my limit or what’s acceptable for me is another struggle. I had been signed off earlier this year, I was really well done, cooked and burnt. It’s weird because I don’t really remember how that burnout felt, all I know is it wasn’t fun.

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