• Replies 14 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 572 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I made a promise that I feel I just can't break

Pheonix7

When I was 7 years old I made a promise to my mum that when she goes to heaven I'll go too, many years have passed and I have to admit they are days when I'm terrified because my mum has Alzheimer's now and then they are days when I feel ok because my problems that I face in life and the absolute chaos that goes on in my head will be over, I was diagnosed with autism a few weeks ago and at first I thought it was good because it helped me understand certain things that I previously couldn't, I announced my diagnosis because in truth I thought that the people who threaten me as they pass by in their cars might stop when they know why I'm me, I still don't know why I'm me but I don't like it because some members of my family said that I should be ashamed of myself and I can't see my nieces and nephews because I brought shame on them, these are the days I want to leave because it's killing me anyway, I don't know why I'm posting this, I'm really sorry if anything on this has offended you, I'm sorry 

Parents

  • I'll pray for you. Going to heaven is a good thing but only when God takes you, not a moment sooner. Trying to force yourself to go sooner, will not get you there. That promise is not good. Make a new better one. One to make the most out of evey day you are here. Try enjoy your mom while she is here too.  

    It's great to be open about your diagnosis, thank you so much for doing that! thats a heroic thing to do. Being autistic is nothing to be ashamed about. It's just part of you, like brown hair or blue eyes of flat feet.... you can choose to celebrate it or keep it to yourself. You get to choose. I'm sorry people say these things to you, they are not doing a good thing. 

  • in reply to DaughteroftheKing
    DaughteroftheKing said:
    Going to heaven is a good thing but only when God takes you, not a moment sooner. Trying to force yourself to go sooner, will not get you there

    This view depends a great deal on your religion and the specific organised religion you follow. Most consider it a sin but there is a lot of discussion over the circumstances and capabilities of the person involved so it becomes a tangled mess.

    There is a good explanation on this here  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_views_on_suicide

    In the Christian old testament there are many cases of it being acceptable but once big, organised religions got involved then they wanted to put lots of rules in place to make people follow their ways of thinking (largely controlling the masses) and they found guilt was a tremendous tool to keep people in line, hence most of the current "rules".

    The point is that while you may have faith in a god, heaven etc, the rules around what you describe are made by people who want to control you so are of questionable foundation so you need to decide what you believe.

    Pheonix7 said:
    When I was 7 years old I made a promise to my mum

    If a 7 year old made a promise to you about such a subject, would you think them capable of making such a life altering decision many years later? I would not think anyone would so you should try to see it from your mums point of view and realise it was not a binding promise.

    In your shoes I would try to find a counsellor or therapist who undestands autism well and talk things over with them - they should help you make sense of your thoughts and motivations and help you make an informed decision in light of this.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you and I'm seeing a therapist soon, he said he can help me, I just want some peace of mind 

Reply Children
No Data