Completely isolated for 20 years, How do one even begin to recover from this.

I have for the last 20 years, had very limited physical social interaction with humans. Averaging 3-10 outings a year at best mostly going to doctors and the occasional relative.

While logically, I know that, taking small steps to go outside every now and then can help quite a bit, slightly lessen the anxiety I feel just thinking about going outside. It's been.. such a long time that... I feel like there simply is no need to do so anymore... I can't come up with a reason that truly motivates me to want to go outside, a reason that justifies the pain and discomfort I'd have to deal with to do something.. outside.

I know no one, am known by no one, I have no IRL friends within my immediate vicinity, heck.. I only recently went into the centre of my town for the first time in years only because I was already out after a doctors appointment.. and all of these outings are with my dad who is my carer.

I'm more speaking about going outside.. alone.. but maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.. I don't generally like asking to go places because I'd have to drag my dad along.. and I don't want to burden him with that as he does enough for me as it is.. and even if I did ask... where would I even go when I can't find anything that remotely interests me.

Is this the curse of living in a 'smallish' town? A lack of interesting things to do? Am I too far gone being isolated for so long? Am I just so fearful of leaving my comfort zone that I refused to even try? Am I avoiding doing anything cause of the anxiety I feel? The 'what if this happens' nonsense?

Is it all the above?

Trying to make sense.. of the jumbled mess of spaghetti that is life... I know of one place I could make a start.. sort of... but I don't think I can bring myself to even begin..

Bunny 2 months ago

I'm also very socially isolated and rarely get out. Mostly, it's just for essential trips like medical or vet appointments.

You might find it helpful to talk to your GP about getting some support - perhaps including from your local social prescriber and/or through some talking therapy.

A social prescriber could work with you (over several sessions) to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your practical, social and emotional needs. Whilst that might initially sound quite daunting, you could do that in whatever way works best for you, and at your own pace. For example, your appointments could be via your choice of phone, video, or face-to-face - perhaps including meeting up at a local cafe, or in a park, for example.

I'm currently part way through my own course of appointments with a social prescriber. In my case, we're initially focusing on things that could help get me out and about more, but that don't require me to mix closely with other people (so, in my case, one might more appropriately call it anti-social prescribing!).

The article below explains more (it relates to NHS England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

NHS England - Social prescribing

You might be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory - whether through a local NAS branch, or other types of support group or social programmes:

NAS - Autism Services Directory

NAS - Branches

You might also be able to find some local groups that fit with your interests and hobbies - however narrow / specialist they might be - by searching on Facebook and/or Google.
Xcvbn 2 months ago

I'd start with getting ready to go outside with no plans of doing so. Maybe plan on what you'd wear if it rains or if it's cold etc and think about clothes and shoes and wear them inside.

I had been doing quite a lot of running and decided to make myself go to the local running club. I didn't manage to go for very long, it resulted in complete burnout and I ended up stopping running completely because it gave me such a bad feeling.

I couldn't look at my running kit without panicking.

I started wearing my running tops around the house and then my running shoes etc. I had no plans to go running.

I'm running again now.

I don't have any IRL friends either. I'm still hopeful though for some reason.

The reason to go outside is to make it into something that you can do. There are probably lots of things you'd like to do outside but you can't think of what they are at the moment because of all the anxious thoughts.
Stuart333 2 months ago

Maybe you are thinking too big, maybe it needs to be smaller steps

Walk to the road, walk to the end of the road, to the post box, around he block, to a shop, get on a bus and come back, go into town, etc.

Build it up in steps, then once you are happy with local trips you could go further or take a train. Get someone to come with you the first time.

Maybe get a bicycle so you can get some exercise too.

Once you are happy going out perhaps you could find a course or club., or go to the gym or coffee shop.

If you lived in a bigger town there might be more to do, but it might be more of a challenge to do it.

Although I go to work, I have done the same for 25 years. I come home and do nothing that involves other people.