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Being misunderstood

OAP - Older Autistic Person

Morning...could do with some kind words.

We have some pleasant neighbours who we get on with. Their cat is very friendly, and we have looked after him when they have been away on holiday, so he has come to see us a friendly and safe.

As a consequence their cat now comes into our house constantly, despite our discouraging this. It is impossible to stop as during this warm weather we keep our garden door open.

The neighbours are away this weekend, and so I let them know their cat was popping in, which they are apparently ok with. I then mentioned he was shedding a lot of fur and so would probably appreciate a good brush when they get back. I meant it light heartedly, but they have taken it as me telling them how to look after their cat.

I am fed up with being misunderstood. It makes me so uncomfortable and triggers my flight response, so I quit the Whatsapp group we have with them. I usually avoid Whatsapp with people I do not know well - I should have known better than to get involved.

These are the experiences that makle me want to withdraw into utter solitude.

Feeling pretty low today as a result.

Parents

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with what you said. But people can be in a bad mood. Also stress makes everyone sensitive to criticism.

    I think some people don't know they need to brush their cat. The cat can manage without it, but brushing helps stop furballs and they like to be brushed. If you are nice to cats they tend to come to you, then it can become a nuisance.

    I've seen you had a message which is good. Maybe it would be best to wait a while, as in a few days, before quitting WhatsApp groups in future.

    It is easy to overthink or overreact and then regret it later. Which applies to the other people too. Everyone overreacts sometimes. But stopping things each time is how you lose friends and become isolated, so sometimes you need to just pause to see what will happen 

    It is hard if you don't get an expected response, or consistent responses. I struggle with this as it is confusing and can be hurtful.

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  • I don't think there is anything wrong with what you said. But people can be in a bad mood. Also stress makes everyone sensitive to criticism.

    I think some people don't know they need to brush their cat. The cat can manage without it, but brushing helps stop furballs and they like to be brushed. If you are nice to cats they tend to come to you, then it can become a nuisance.

    I've seen you had a message which is good. Maybe it would be best to wait a while, as in a few days, before quitting WhatsApp groups in future.

    It is easy to overthink or overreact and then regret it later. Which applies to the other people too. Everyone overreacts sometimes. But stopping things each time is how you lose friends and become isolated, so sometimes you need to just pause to see what will happen 

    It is hard if you don't get an expected response, or consistent responses. I struggle with this as it is confusing and can be hurtful.

Children
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