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Being misunderstood

OAP - Older Autistic Person

Morning...could do with some kind words.

We have some pleasant neighbours who we get on with. Their cat is very friendly, and we have looked after him when they have been away on holiday, so he has come to see us a friendly and safe.

As a consequence their cat now comes into our house constantly, despite our discouraging this. It is impossible to stop as during this warm weather we keep our garden door open.

The neighbours are away this weekend, and so I let them know their cat was popping in, which they are apparently ok with. I then mentioned he was shedding a lot of fur and so would probably appreciate a good brush when they get back. I meant it light heartedly, but they have taken it as me telling them how to look after their cat.

I am fed up with being misunderstood. It makes me so uncomfortable and triggers my flight response, so I quit the Whatsapp group we have with them. I usually avoid Whatsapp with people I do not know well - I should have known better than to get involved.

These are the experiences that makle me want to withdraw into utter solitude.

Feeling pretty low today as a result.

Parents

  • Hi, I am so sorry about this. I know the feeling of when you try and be kind and they take it the wrong way. If they have got a huff that’s their problem not yours, you know you were only being polite and they should be more respectful of your words and should groom the cat more often. I have got issues with the people in the flat below me, they have an old dog and the owners aren’t very respectful of the community, they leave all the mess in the hallway and the hallways now stinks. I tried to be discreet and spray air freshener on my level and I also have an air purifier by my door due to my allergies and I didn’t know dogs were allowed in the flats at the time (still don’t think they are tbh). Well their dog ran upstairs and my door was open at the time and they noticed my purifier and of course the air freshener and got so annoyed with me I just ended up slamming the door and crying as I didn’t know what to say or do. I mean they had the cheek to tell me to turn my tv down but I didn’t think my tv was loud but it’s ok for them to have their dog wake me up at 3am and they have their tv on loud and talk loud. I know you can’t really keep control of where cats go but if you don’t want it to come to yours so you don’t have to talk to the neighbours then maybe try getting on of those cat scare gadgets so they won’t come near due to the noise. I hope you feel better soon and I’m so sorry you have neighbour issues too! Although it’s easier said than done just try do your own thing and avoid the neighbours, if they were nice enough they would apologise. Hope you have a better day! 

Reply

  • Hi, I am so sorry about this. I know the feeling of when you try and be kind and they take it the wrong way. If they have got a huff that’s their problem not yours, you know you were only being polite and they should be more respectful of your words and should groom the cat more often. I have got issues with the people in the flat below me, they have an old dog and the owners aren’t very respectful of the community, they leave all the mess in the hallway and the hallways now stinks. I tried to be discreet and spray air freshener on my level and I also have an air purifier by my door due to my allergies and I didn’t know dogs were allowed in the flats at the time (still don’t think they are tbh). Well their dog ran upstairs and my door was open at the time and they noticed my purifier and of course the air freshener and got so annoyed with me I just ended up slamming the door and crying as I didn’t know what to say or do. I mean they had the cheek to tell me to turn my tv down but I didn’t think my tv was loud but it’s ok for them to have their dog wake me up at 3am and they have their tv on loud and talk loud. I know you can’t really keep control of where cats go but if you don’t want it to come to yours so you don’t have to talk to the neighbours then maybe try getting on of those cat scare gadgets so they won’t come near due to the noise. I hope you feel better soon and I’m so sorry you have neighbour issues too! Although it’s easier said than done just try do your own thing and avoid the neighbours, if they were nice enough they would apologise. Hope you have a better day! 

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