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Networking embarrassment

Nexus-7

I feel so embarrassed. I went to a conference today. At the end they had 1 1/2 hr “drinks and networking” session. I was feeling awkward and I kept finding I was standing in a group where people would pair off into individual conversations and I was standing there still but kind of alone. Or people would say, “Must go and mingle.” 

So then I would move to another group and I say hi and same would happen. I was trying to be super aware of myself, ask them questions, etc.

But then I started talking to someone and thought it was going well so I relaxed. He brought up a topic I’m really interested in and I got excited and started talking about it enthusiastically. Then I suddenly realised he was looking at me weird. So I stopped talking and he muttered, “Nice to meet you,” and walked off really fast. 

Now I realise I was just going on about it. And didn’t ask him enough. And I feel sad and humiliated. My confidence is completely shattered. 

I was diagnosed this year, I’m 47. I feel so much worse about everything now I realise I’m not just “socially awkward”, I’m autistic. 

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  • in reply to Alien0n3arth
    Alien0n3arth said:
    I hate hearing, “just go and chat with others”. I don’t know how

    It is remakably simple - read up on how to make small talk and ask open ended questions. If you can do this then it will often more than compensate for many of the typical autistic issues of not being able to read body language, monotone voice, difficulty making eye contact etc.

    It takes courage to put it into action however and I think many autists fail to try, afraid of failure so completely aviding the possibility of demonstrating that they are capable to do it.

    The learning is fairly simple so I won't dwell on that, but I always found it much easier to not think about it at the events, just go on autopilot and flit from group to group and not dwell on how well it went or how successful I was. 

    Keeping other threads in my mind really helped (eg the subject matter of the event and any objectives I had) helped me from thinking about me and more on the subject matter.

    At the end of the night I would be exhasted but almost always came away with contacts, knowledge and interesting leads for my work or career.