I’ve just started a cleaning job that I thought that I could do, but just after one day I feel overwhelmed and want to quit. I have taken a sick day for my second day and. I have had this issue all my adult life and never had a job that I have felt comfortable with. This is my first job in six years.
Before, I was able to push through the anxiety and dread but now I’m mid 30s and my nervous system just reacts too strongly to handle most things. After my first day at this cleaning job, I was struggling to eat in the evening and was uncontrollably shaking until I could eventually get to sleep. I did do cleaning before, ten years and a couple of breakdowns ago, but I thought I could still do it.
I volunteered in a charity shop in 2019-2021 where I was doing 12 hours a week in the hope of getting my confidence up, but in the end, it didn’t and I felt just as demoralised as before.
But a large part of me just doesn’t want employment and I never have. I have found work overwhelming, unpredictable and have always been more anxious with responsibilities, high expectations and jobs with lots of steps.
I know that a lot of people hate working and just do jobs to get paid. I know I might seem lazy or “work shy”.
And I’m worried about how my manager would react if I wanted to resign - the contract says I have to give a weeks notice (which would be awkward) but colleagues said that some people have left after one day. I’ve been given a ton of uniform as well.
My partner is understanding - he says that it’s not worth doing the job if it’s going to make as ill as it did on my first day, but he’s leaving it up to me.
I feel lost and disappointed in myself.
I’m sorry if I’ve ranted, I haven’t done much forum posting before. Any opinions, similar experiences or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.
