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Work Anxiety

Whippet2020

I’ve just started a cleaning job that I thought that I could do, but just after one day I feel overwhelmed and want to quit. I have taken a sick day for my second day and. I have had this issue all my adult life and never had a job that I have felt comfortable with. This is my first job in six years. 

Before, I was able to push through the anxiety and dread but now I’m mid 30s and my nervous system just reacts too strongly to handle most things. After my first day at this cleaning job, I was struggling to eat in the evening and was uncontrollably shaking until I could eventually get to sleep. I did do cleaning before, ten years and a couple of breakdowns ago, but I thought I could still do it. 

I volunteered in a charity shop in 2019-2021 where I was doing 12 hours a week in the hope of getting my confidence up, but in the end, it didn’t and I felt just as demoralised as before. 

But a large part of me just doesn’t want employment and I never have. I have found work overwhelming, unpredictable and have always been more anxious with responsibilities, high expectations and jobs with lots of steps. 

I know that a lot of people hate working and just do jobs to get paid. I know I might seem lazy or “work shy”. 

And I’m worried about how my manager would react if I wanted to resign - the contract says I have to give a weeks notice (which would be awkward) but colleagues said that some people have left after one day. I’ve been given a ton of uniform as well. 

My partner is understanding - he says that it’s not worth doing the job if it’s going to make as ill as it did on my first day, but he’s leaving it up to me. 

I feel lost and disappointed in myself. 

I’m sorry if I’ve ranted, I haven’t done much forum posting before. Any opinions, similar experiences or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading. 

  • in reply to Whippet2020

    No problem, glad to have come across helpful. Never thought I had it in me! Yeah I do have moments when I feel better and think maybe I can get just a small job but I just get taken back to my awful experience. What also annoys and upsets me if as you say people don’t understand they just say forget about it and move on, even when something traumatic happens to me they just don’t seem to understand or care. Like for example my dad says about only soldiers get ptsd or raf people can get it and he was in the raf but just doesn’t care just says to move on and get on with it. Another thing was one of my mums friends telling me to get back to work and don’t let that experience put me off but she said she also had trauma but got over it but I’m different. Sorry for the rant then! Yeah I have been doing emdr which I guess has helped but don’t think I’ll ever fully recover due to autism. Hope you are doing ok and don’t be ashamed for pulling out of work who cares what the managers think

  • in reply to Lotus

    Thank you   for understanding. Trying to find something that would suit is proving difficult - it must be a relief to retire! 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Hi   thanks for replying. I’m sorry that you’ve struggled with work too, I also can’t handle making errors. I’ve had those experiences with my family too, and still occasionally do, when they think that all I’ve got to do is muster up some confidence and I’ll be fine, butI find I can’t even begin to explain why I’m finding it difficult. 

    I am so sorry about your volunteering experience. That shouldn’t have happened and you didn’t deserve it. I hope you can heal from it. 

    My partner and I are on UC and I’m on low capability for work for another 8 months I think. So I wasn’t forced to get this job, but as I had been feeling ok and managing life well recently, I thought I would be ok. But I resigned from it this morning, which probably annoyed the manager greatly. 

    Working from home may work, it may be more manageable, but I don’t think I have the skills for any of those jobs. 

    Thank you again  for sharing and understanding, you’ve been really helpful  Slight smile

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Thank you for replying   I did manage to eat and drink. I was nervous before starting - I’m guessing the usual first day nerves everyone gets. As the day went on, it was more and more information being told, more responsibilities and steps I would need to take. I could sense something was building up, but I think I automatically went to my old coping mechanism of stuffing it down, until it came up when I got home. 

  • in reply to dony202

    Thank you   for the validation. I really appreciate it. 

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I can empathise - I did manage to work for many years, although a lot of it was part time - but I'm so glad I'm now retired. You are not alone - many members of this forum struggle in the same way. Don't push yourself to do things you can't manage - talk it through with your partner and try to work out if there is a different occupation you could try that would suit you. But if you can't work, don't worry about it - there is more to life than working.

  • Hi there, if this helps I have never managed to work a day in my life. Not because I’m lazy but because I just can’t cope with all the stress, responsibilities, socialising, communicating etc. like if I made the smallest of errors I would go into a panic attack and overreact (like spongebob) but I always get told by the family members to get a job and get out there and push myself when I explain until I’ve lost my voice and erupted like a volcano with the frustration of them not listening or understanding! I also volunteered in a charity shop and well this will probably sound far fetched but I ended up getting is it gas lighting or manipulated by the so called shop manager who degraded and bullied me and even took my stuff off me and took me upstairs “to steam wedding dresses” but he locked me up there with just him for health and safety and even wanted me to wear the wedding dresses for the website as it was “my only chance of being a model” and I have suffered with ptsd since then. I will no doubt put a post in more detail at a later date but it’s hard for me to talk about. All I can suggest is maybe look into going on UC or get sick notes from the GPs maybe? Another option could be to work from home maybe? I’m sorry I can’t be more help but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t work it’s ok you are who you are. Take care 

  • Burnout builds over time, after one day it seems unlikely, unless you were right on the edge before starting.

    If you did a whole day did you eat or drink during the day?

    How did you feel during the first day? Were you very anxious all day, did it get worse as the day went on?

  • This isn’t laziness, it’s burnout or possibly something deeper like C-PTSD or an anxiety disorder. Your body is clearly telling you it’s in distress. That doesn’t make you a failure, it means you need a different path or support system, not shame