Maybe it is part of masking and preparation, but I always used to imagine how everything would be. I would play out future scenes, trips, interactions, conversations in my head ahead of time. I'd plan how I would feel, how I would react, there would be multiple options.
Invariably I would imagine things to be better than they turned out to be. It lead to everything being a bit of a disappointment because it never turned out quite as good as I imagined. I guess it also lead to my first burnout too.
Years ago I tried to change to live a bit more in the moment and only prepare the bare minimum. It means you can take things as they are and feel less disappointment. It is a bit more stressful at first, but you can get used to it abd it frees up mental effort and time.
I do still create fantasies in my mind though. I imagine things I would like to happen, but I know they are unlikely.
I wondered if others do, or did, this?
I thought it was normal, but I have realised the degree was not.
