Understanding identity following a diagnosis

Hi everyone,

It’s my first time posting here - it’s great to have joined the community.

I’m a 40yo woman diagnosed with ASD a month and half ago. I think I’ve always known I didn’t quite fit into a neurotypical world but it was only when my son was recently also diagnosed that it all fell into place.

I’ve masked (very effectively) all my life, and I’m finding it hard to untangle which bits of me are real and which are my mask. I’m trying really hard to be myself but honestly sometimes can’t tell who that is. I wonder if anyone else found this too and had any advice?

Parents
  • I was diagnosed at 59. There is a lot of material from the autistic community out there, that suggests that divesting all masking is some sort of panacea, "If you find your authentic autistic self all will be well." I found that this was meaningless for me. All humans are the product of biology and experience. For me there is no real distinction between my autism and the protective defences I have erected (masking/camouflaging) to protect myself over a lifetime of living in an allistic world. Both are equally me, and I do not trouble myself with any angst about the situation.

Reply
  • I was diagnosed at 59. There is a lot of material from the autistic community out there, that suggests that divesting all masking is some sort of panacea, "If you find your authentic autistic self all will be well." I found that this was meaningless for me. All humans are the product of biology and experience. For me there is no real distinction between my autism and the protective defences I have erected (masking/camouflaging) to protect myself over a lifetime of living in an allistic world. Both are equally me, and I do not trouble myself with any angst about the situation.

Children
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