• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 86 subscribers
  • Views 382 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Understanding identity following a diagnosis

Amberet

Hi everyone,

It’s my first time posting here - it’s great to have joined the community.

I’m a 40yo woman diagnosed with ASD a month and half ago. I think I’ve always known I didn’t quite fit into a neurotypical world but it was only when my son was recently also diagnosed that it all fell into place.

I’ve masked (very effectively) all my life, and I’m finding it hard to untangle which bits of me are real and which are my mask. I’m trying really hard to be myself but honestly sometimes can’t tell who that is. I wonder if anyone else found this too and had any advice?

Parents

  • Amberet,

    I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels that way! I'm 38 and found out a couple of years ago that I had ASD. It wasn't an issue for me initially as I was in a job where actually ASD was useful and I could actually drop my man at work, then only needed it at home. Now I'm out of that job I honestly can't work out who I am and where I fit in, and to be honest I feel totally lost most of the time.

    I've sought counselling for other issues recently, but I've asked if they can put me with an ND experienced councillor in order to help me understand more about what I'm facing as the ASD forms part of what is causing my other issues. I have no other suggestions other than that, but I do absolutely understand how you feel.

    James.

Reply

  • Amberet,

    I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels that way! I'm 38 and found out a couple of years ago that I had ASD. It wasn't an issue for me initially as I was in a job where actually ASD was useful and I could actually drop my man at work, then only needed it at home. Now I'm out of that job I honestly can't work out who I am and where I fit in, and to be honest I feel totally lost most of the time.

    I've sought counselling for other issues recently, but I've asked if they can put me with an ND experienced councillor in order to help me understand more about what I'm facing as the ASD forms part of what is causing my other issues. I have no other suggestions other than that, but I do absolutely understand how you feel.

    James.

Children
  • in reply to james424

    Thanks, James. It helps to know others feel this way too.

    I’m really proud to be recognised as ASD, but I’ve found it harder than I expected. I’m fortunate in that my family are supportive and my colleagues are great (though I haven’t told most of them yet), but I can’t help but feel I’ve tricked my way to where I am by not being authentically me. 

    Perhaps counselling would help.