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Mistakes and self esteem

Autismman

Does anyone ever make a mistake and then start questioning their very moral existence as if the small mistake somehow makes them feel like less of a person or not worthy enough? Like how stupid could I be or why didn’t I just do that one thing before hand? I feel this a lot at work when something goes wrong and it makes me feel really detached, uncomfortable, uneasy and I start obsessing over it till it passes. I also start thinking everyone else will think I’m incompetent. I look at some people and I try to imagine or understand how they seem to brush themselves off and not have it hit their ego like a runaway train. I also feel a sense of shame I suppose. Usually sleep helps me as I feel a new day is almost like a reset button mentally.

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  • Autismman said:
    Does anyone ever make a mistake and then start questioning their very moral existence as if the small mistake somehow makes them feel like less of a person or not worthy enough?

    I used to be like this but found mindfulness was a great mechanism to be able to put the mistake into context in a similar way to describes.

    It helps you establish if the mistake was an acceptable one (there are few cases when it isn't unless you are a surgeon for example) and, more importantly, if you can learn from it to avoid it in future.

    For me it is always best to look on mistakes as learning events and so long as I don't keep repeating them then it is working. If I do repeat them then it is something I discuss with my therapist as there may be something else at play which they are better attuned to get to the bottom of.

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  • Autismman said:
    Does anyone ever make a mistake and then start questioning their very moral existence as if the small mistake somehow makes them feel like less of a person or not worthy enough?

    I used to be like this but found mindfulness was a great mechanism to be able to put the mistake into context in a similar way to describes.

    It helps you establish if the mistake was an acceptable one (there are few cases when it isn't unless you are a surgeon for example) and, more importantly, if you can learn from it to avoid it in future.

    For me it is always best to look on mistakes as learning events and so long as I don't keep repeating them then it is working. If I do repeat them then it is something I discuss with my therapist as there may be something else at play which they are better attuned to get to the bottom of.

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