• Replies 15 replies
  • Subscribers 91 subscribers
  • Views 817 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Mistakes and self esteem

Autismman

Does anyone ever make a mistake and then start questioning their very moral existence as if the small mistake somehow makes them feel like less of a person or not worthy enough? Like how stupid could I be or why didn’t I just do that one thing before hand? I feel this a lot at work when something goes wrong and it makes me feel really detached, uncomfortable, uneasy and I start obsessing over it till it passes. I also start thinking everyone else will think I’m incompetent. I look at some people and I try to imagine or understand how they seem to brush themselves off and not have it hit their ego like a runaway train. I also feel a sense of shame I suppose. Usually sleep helps me as I feel a new day is almost like a reset button mentally.

Parents

  • I understand how scary making a mistake can seem and how it can undermine your confidence.

    But, the solution is to accept everyone makes mistakes. 

    In management if you get, say, 9 out of 10 decision correct, people will accept that as a price for making progress when you have incomplete information. Speed is important. As long as you recognise the wrong ones and correct them you are fine.

    I certain manual processes, such a data entry, there are statistics to show typical accuracy rates.

    Elsewhere mistakes are often a process problem, not the individuals problem. If you can make a mistake then do could other people so there should be something to catch it. Quality audits should show that.

    Typically autistic attention to detail anf fear of mistakes mean that over time you should do better than others.

    Hopefully people don't make fun of the mistakes, but if they do the thing is not to take it too personally. It will pass. If they make fun it is because they know they would do no better. If they were bothered they would be complaining.

Reply

  • I understand how scary making a mistake can seem and how it can undermine your confidence.

    But, the solution is to accept everyone makes mistakes. 

    In management if you get, say, 9 out of 10 decision correct, people will accept that as a price for making progress when you have incomplete information. Speed is important. As long as you recognise the wrong ones and correct them you are fine.

    I certain manual processes, such a data entry, there are statistics to show typical accuracy rates.

    Elsewhere mistakes are often a process problem, not the individuals problem. If you can make a mistake then do could other people so there should be something to catch it. Quality audits should show that.

    Typically autistic attention to detail anf fear of mistakes mean that over time you should do better than others.

    Hopefully people don't make fun of the mistakes, but if they do the thing is not to take it too personally. It will pass. If they make fun it is because they know they would do no better. If they were bothered they would be complaining.

Children
No Data