Masks and Masking

I've always masked heavily, I didn't realise until recently how heavily or how many layers of masks I was using. Now I feel as though I have some control over them and to an extent can choose which one is right for most situations, but there are some I'm missing. I realised my previous thread about not getting games and the metaverse and stuff was a clumsy way of asking how do I create a mask appropriate to when I have to be in these situations, however infrequent they may be.

Do any of you conciously mask and create masks appropriate to the situation you're in? Do you use multiple masks, layering them on like make-up, to give a semblance of "normality" or to just be able to cope with certain situations like public transport?

Do you know what masks you have? I know I had a few work one's, a socialising mask, that always fell apart when I was drunk, a mask for being around family and probably a load more I've yet to identify. I used to conciously put on the right mask for the occaision and take it off again later.

People talk about masking as if it's always a bad thing, but I'm not sure it is, I think we need our masks to get through the day, as long as we are aware of them and can take them off when we get "home", I think it's OK, but how do we create masks for situations we have no knowlege of and can't comprehend? I think I ask questions that seem impossible to answer, being an only child I remember asking people what it was like to have sibblings, really detailed questions, that of course they couldn't answer.

Parents
  • I don’t think that masking is always a bad thing. What is appropriate for one person in a specific situation might feel inappropriate for another person.

    Some people are in situations where they are free to be their authentic selves because people are understanding and don’t make negative comments, or some people don’t care even if they hear negative comments. Rightly or wrongly, some situations require masking in order to achieve something like employment, promotion or invitations etc.

    I mask in social situations because I don’t want to stand out and sometimes I want to fit in. The trade off is worth it as I would rather mask to get what I want rather than not mask and not obtain what I need. I have been doing this for so long that sometimes I don’t know what my authentic self is.

    how do we create masks for situations we have no knowlege of and can't comprehend?

    I don’t know. I think the more we mask in different situations, the more experienced we become in getting the right mask and setting the right tone, but it is an ongoing and exhausting work.

    It would be very sad if masking was considered always a bad thing. It is up to the individual to decide.

Reply
  • I don’t think that masking is always a bad thing. What is appropriate for one person in a specific situation might feel inappropriate for another person.

    Some people are in situations where they are free to be their authentic selves because people are understanding and don’t make negative comments, or some people don’t care even if they hear negative comments. Rightly or wrongly, some situations require masking in order to achieve something like employment, promotion or invitations etc.

    I mask in social situations because I don’t want to stand out and sometimes I want to fit in. The trade off is worth it as I would rather mask to get what I want rather than not mask and not obtain what I need. I have been doing this for so long that sometimes I don’t know what my authentic self is.

    how do we create masks for situations we have no knowlege of and can't comprehend?

    I don’t know. I think the more we mask in different situations, the more experienced we become in getting the right mask and setting the right tone, but it is an ongoing and exhausting work.

    It would be very sad if masking was considered always a bad thing. It is up to the individual to decide.

Children
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