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The emotional side of helping children with special needs: how do you cope when you can’t do it all?

19Amooti90_C.

Hello everyone,

I come from a community where autism and cerebral palsy are still deeply misunderstood. Many families face blame, rejection, or even accusations of witchcraft. I’ve seen mothers abandoned, children hidden, and countless people suffer in silence, all because of stigma and lack of awareness.

Some mothers come to me in tears, begging me to take their children and care for them because they can no longer cope and it breaks my heart. I wish I could help them all, but we’re still a small initiative, just starting, with no funding yet to provide full time care. Sometimes I listen to their stories, see their tears, and I also feel like crying. Many parents don’t even know what autism is. Some ask me questions like, “But what exactly happened to my child? Will he be okay? Will he ever be like the other children?” Their pain is real, and so is their confusion and it stays with me long after our conversations end.

I know many of you have faced similar struggles, maybe in different ways or places. I’d love to hear:

How do you care for your own emotional health?.

For sure sometimes i feel like crying, Have you ever felt guilty for not being able to do more even when you know you’re already doing your best?

What do you say to a parent who asks, "will my child ever be like the others?" when you don’t have a clear answer yourself?

Parents
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  • in reply to $parentForumReply.Author.DisplayName

    No, dear, let’s not be too quick to place all the blame on the parents. We need to remember that many parents of children with special needs carry an invisible burden, a deep and silent pain of seeing their child in a condition they never imagined or wished for. That pain often runs so deep, it can be heavier than what the child themselves might feel.

    These parents walk through life with aching hearts, often filled with guilt, confusion, and helplessness. And while some may seem distant or withdrawn, it’s not because they don’t love their child, it’s because they’re overwhelmed by emotions they don’t know how to express or manage.

    We must also accept that not all hearts are built the same. Some people have a harder time coping with such unexpected realities, especially when they lack the proper emotional support or counseling. Without that help, some may retreat or struggle to accept their child’s condition, not out of hatred, but from the sheer weight of sorrow they carry alone.

    So instead of judging, let’s choose compassion. Let’s acknowledge their pain, walk beside them, and offer understanding and support. Because healing begins not in blame, but in empathy.

Children