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Recommendations for coaching for business events

Nexus-7

I'm 47F and was diagnosed this year with autism and ADHD. I'm Managing Director of a small business and also Chair of Trustees of a small charity. In both these roles I am frequently required to go to events which involve socialising - such as conferences, networking events, meetings, etc. Also sometimes I am asked to speak - but I avoid this if at all possible. 

I have social phobia, and in my personal life I am extremely anti-social. But in my work life I have to attend these events. I find it excruciating and leading up to any event I have terrible anxiety and dread. Afterwards I play back and dissect every interaction thinking of all the things I said and did wrong, or how I could have been misinterpreted.

I'm super awkward, so even things like someone goes to hug me, or even worse the dreaded air kiss, I always seem to go to the wrong side and cause the interaction to be weird. One time I even went the wrong way for a kiss/hug, then laughed out of awkwardness, and as I was laughing they went in for an air kiss and my teeth hit their cheek. Other times I have accidentally said the wrong thing and offended people. I cringe when I think about these things even from years and years ago. I also experience brain freeze due to anxiety. 

I used to think maybe I was being paranoid but since my diagnosis I realise I'm not. This has made the issues even worse as I have lost all confidence. 

So, my question is do any of you have recommendations for coaching to help with this? I live in London but I'm open to doing it online also. 

Thank you! Grateful for this community. 

Parents

  • Hi Nexus-7 an interesting user name, anyway good to have you here. I can certainly relate a little to what you are talking about. I’ve  had very similar experiences regarding the social stuff including similar episodes either very awkward kisses etc. I’ve always struggled with social things and not really understand why until recently becoming aware that I am autistic. After which, following a long stint of feeling sorry for myself I have become more comfortable with that understanding. I have made significant changes in respect to work which was a major cause of my anxiety and energy sapping. It was a tough thing to do after 30 years building a career but in my case I couldn’t go back to the old way. Realise that is not possible for everyone from a financial and security perspective. 

  • in reply to White_Dragon

    Hi thank you for the reply. It’s good to hear I’m not alone. Would you mind me asking what kind of changes you made? 

Reply Children
  • in reply to White_Dragon

    I can relate to this. I am also questioning what I have done with the last 35 years and whether I had my priorities right. It has been tough.

  • in reply to Nexus-7

    In respect of work I have pretty much stepped down from my role. The company is in looking at other things I could do but not sure where it’s going to go. Pretty extreme I suppose but I know I can’t go back k owing what I know now. If I would have known earlier I would not have pursued a career so much. I’ve given more or less thirty plus years to something I really in the end don’t value. I should have prioritised my health and happiness….now a bit late but….