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Recommendations for coaching for business events

Nexus-7

I'm 47F and was diagnosed this year with autism and ADHD. I'm Managing Director of a small business and also Chair of Trustees of a small charity. In both these roles I am frequently required to go to events which involve socialising - such as conferences, networking events, meetings, etc. Also sometimes I am asked to speak - but I avoid this if at all possible. 

I have social phobia, and in my personal life I am extremely anti-social. But in my work life I have to attend these events. I find it excruciating and leading up to any event I have terrible anxiety and dread. Afterwards I play back and dissect every interaction thinking of all the things I said and did wrong, or how I could have been misinterpreted.

I'm super awkward, so even things like someone goes to hug me, or even worse the dreaded air kiss, I always seem to go to the wrong side and cause the interaction to be weird. One time I even went the wrong way for a kiss/hug, then laughed out of awkwardness, and as I was laughing they went in for an air kiss and my teeth hit their cheek. Other times I have accidentally said the wrong thing and offended people. I cringe when I think about these things even from years and years ago. I also experience brain freeze due to anxiety. 

I used to think maybe I was being paranoid but since my diagnosis I realise I'm not. This has made the issues even worse as I have lost all confidence. 

So, my question is do any of you have recommendations for coaching to help with this? I live in London but I'm open to doing it online also. 

Thank you! Grateful for this community. 

Parents

  • You've made it this far and still seem to be going, so you can't be that bad. If you think of all the interactions, including the good ones, how many were really a problem? The odd ones will stand out but maybe 95% were fine.

    It may be tempting to think you are bad at it, but maybe you aren't. Is there someone you trust who coul comment?

    Can you avoid the kissing ang hugging and just shake hands? I find it awkward, many people do.

    I think it is mostly just confidence. While you can have courses for presentations, or public speaking, I am not sure about general business socialising, seems to just be about appearing to be calm and being yourself 

    Most of the things I have done over the years were technical. If there was something I needed I would be on safe ground, but otherwise I could just stand around and wait for people to approach me. Also after the first few times I would often recognise a few people which helped. But if you actively have to meet lots of strangers I can see that is hard.

    Can you go with a colleague or sales manager and let them do some of the talking and introductions?

Reply

  • You've made it this far and still seem to be going, so you can't be that bad. If you think of all the interactions, including the good ones, how many were really a problem? The odd ones will stand out but maybe 95% were fine.

    It may be tempting to think you are bad at it, but maybe you aren't. Is there someone you trust who coul comment?

    Can you avoid the kissing ang hugging and just shake hands? I find it awkward, many people do.

    I think it is mostly just confidence. While you can have courses for presentations, or public speaking, I am not sure about general business socialising, seems to just be about appearing to be calm and being yourself 

    Most of the things I have done over the years were technical. If there was something I needed I would be on safe ground, but otherwise I could just stand around and wait for people to approach me. Also after the first few times I would often recognise a few people which helped. But if you actively have to meet lots of strangers I can see that is hard.

    Can you go with a colleague or sales manager and let them do some of the talking and introductions?

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