Being an autistic gay man of a certain age I've been finding life more and more tough the past few years. I have spent a lot of time in isolation, a lot of time in a state of depression. I struggle to get outside and I only have contact with a few family members. This means I have had a lot of time to think (probably too much) and assess myself, my place in the world, and the people distantly around me.
I have realised that everyone I know are seemingly in relationships, they live with their other half, they have children, and they lead busy lives. I on the other hand have no one else, apart from 3 family members and my dogs. I know you shouldn't compare lives because it's like comparing apples to oranges but it is hard not to, it's just life.
It's made me realise that being single is part of my loneliness. It sounds like a contradiction but I know being lonely isn't a reason to be in a relationship, that can lead to being in a bad relationship with the wrong person, I've already been there. I'm not desperate to be in a relationship but also it would be nice to eventually find someone. Trying to connect with someone can feel so draining and daunting when you are autistic. I find myself masking on dating apps, that's without actually meeting anyone physically, it's just draining and stressful.
Are there others who feel the same way?
