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Being single and lonely

being_an_indvidual_on_my_own

Being an autistic gay man of a certain age I've been finding life more and more tough the past few years. I have spent a lot of time in isolation, a lot of time in a state of depression. I struggle to get outside and I only have contact with a few family members. This means I have had a lot of time to think (probably too much) and assess myself, my place in the world, and the people distantly around me.

I have realised that everyone I know are seemingly in relationships, they live with their other half, they have children, and they lead busy lives. I on the other hand have no one else, apart from 3 family members and my dogs. I know you shouldn't compare lives because it's like comparing apples to oranges but it is hard not to, it's just life.

It's made me realise that being single is part of my loneliness. It sounds like a contradiction but I know being lonely isn't a reason to be in a relationship, that can lead to being in a bad relationship with the wrong person, I've already been there. I'm not desperate to be in a relationship but also it would be nice to eventually find someone. Trying to connect with someone can feel so draining and daunting when you are autistic. I find myself masking on dating apps, that's without actually meeting anyone physically, it's just draining and stressful. 

Are there others who feel the same way? 

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  • i feel the same way, in terms of isolation, i only have contact with family every so often, and your right, when you have a lot of time to think about things it makes you think much deeper, and what the purpose is, you start to compare yourself to other people and their lives. i am sure there are plenty of others that feel the same, just hidden away trying to cope with their emotions, but unheard and unseen, looking for a way to connect. its very hard when you have this, i bet a lot of people have tried dating apps, they can be a mixed bag, some of them are OK, others not so much, its easier said than done when someone has been isolated for a long time and has bad anxiety or is depressed, but i think if you keep looking, and in the right places, preferably with people that are very similar that might be more understanding, you will meet someone eventually, its hard but not impossible. i know how hard it is, you sometimes just have to push yourself outside your comfort zone, its not easy, i hope you do eventually find someone though. 

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  • i feel the same way, in terms of isolation, i only have contact with family every so often, and your right, when you have a lot of time to think about things it makes you think much deeper, and what the purpose is, you start to compare yourself to other people and their lives. i am sure there are plenty of others that feel the same, just hidden away trying to cope with their emotions, but unheard and unseen, looking for a way to connect. its very hard when you have this, i bet a lot of people have tried dating apps, they can be a mixed bag, some of them are OK, others not so much, its easier said than done when someone has been isolated for a long time and has bad anxiety or is depressed, but i think if you keep looking, and in the right places, preferably with people that are very similar that might be more understanding, you will meet someone eventually, its hard but not impossible. i know how hard it is, you sometimes just have to push yourself outside your comfort zone, its not easy, i hope you do eventually find someone though. 

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