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Recently discovered ASD has Relationship issues.

james424

Hi all.

Okay, I know I’m someone to go in to lengthy explanations so I’m going to bullet point this to try keep it succinct:

- During counselling 2 yrs ago ASD came up. Never before pointed out, did AQS50 and scored 47. Not officially diagnosed due to waiting assessment, but with that score the therapist said there was little chance of anything else.

- Have hit a rough patch in life and ASD traits seem to be getting worse (I know stress can exacerbate ASD issues).

- My partner, the love of my life, my safe person, said last night during an argument that over the last year/18 months I’ve been getting more abrupt and less aware of being too honest. Can be quite cutting at times. This 12/18 months ties in with the rough patch so makes sense.

- Really scared I’m going to lose her so I absolutely NEED to learn more about what’s broken within me so I can try and do something to fix it or work around it.

With those succinct bullet points in mind, can anyone point me in a good and reputable source of information or point of contact I can speak to in order to understand ASD and how I can be more aware of stuff. The fact I (probably) have it doesn’t bother me - it is what it is - but I’m now scared out of my whits that because of something currently beyond my control I’m inadvertently hurting the person I love.

Thank you all.

James.

Parents

  • Many autistic people mask/camouflage their innate behaviour in order to fit more seamlessly into allistic (non-autistic) society. Masking can, if doing it does not cause too much stress or fatigue, be helpful. It may be that you have let your mask slip and this is what your partner is reacting to.

    There are various papers and books available on autistic masking/camouflaging. One of the more useful ones can be found here: journals.sagepub.com/.../13623613211026754

  • in reply to Martin

    Since starting looking at this I have wondered if it’s a ‘mask’ issue. The worry is if that by having that mask and not realising, I’m going to cause problems down the line because now i need to see about who my actual self is. 

    Masking has never been anything I’ve done consciously before, but I’d suspect given the jobs I’ve had it’s just been something I’ve done without realising. It’s how to deal with life behind the mask that’s now the key.

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  • in reply to Martin

    Since starting looking at this I have wondered if it’s a ‘mask’ issue. The worry is if that by having that mask and not realising, I’m going to cause problems down the line because now i need to see about who my actual self is. 

    Masking has never been anything I’ve done consciously before, but I’d suspect given the jobs I’ve had it’s just been something I’ve done without realising. It’s how to deal with life behind the mask that’s now the key.

Children