One worry to another

Hi all I am really struggling right now I'm under a huge amount of stress . I Go from ruminating over one worry , then fix that worry then I'm onto another. I'm in constant tears I'm exhausted and feel so trapped. It's been going on a long time now and I just can't snap out of it ! It's no way to live , all I want to do is lay I  bed all day and the only thing i look forward to is bed time as my night time meds knock me out and when I'm knocked out I can't worry. I have suicidal thoughts everyday. My husband has booked a holiday for us soon I'm hanging on for that as I know I'd ruin their holiday if I left this planet. However when we get back I'll be off. Its no life .