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Do you ever get days when you feel even more autistic?

Rocinante

I am currently having a period of a few days when I'm feeling even more autistic than normal.

Like, small talk seems even more exhausting than normal, I'm feeling more disconnected from other people, even people I am normally more comfortable with, and just generally feeling discontent (feeling content is what I call in myself what other people might call happiness I think).

I'm feeling like I'm being misunderstood and also that I am misunderstanding people more than normal.

I'm feeling more unsettled than usual.

I've had this before for varying lengths of time.

I just wondered if anyone else feels like this sometimes? 

Parents

  • I have periods (currently it’s happening) when talking to anyone is mentally painful. Now I can’t even get anything done, any project I start, i get interrupted and it drives me crazy. Sometimes I even bang my head off of a wall or want to hurt myself out of frustration. I often feel like it shakes me from inside and I can’t find myself a place. The only thing that helps me de escalate this stress growing like a volcano is my number writing. I have ideas to continue one of my sci fi stories but of course can not. I get interrupted anytime I try. At least this activity can be interrupted anytime and I can continue anytime and it’s infinite project that makes no sense but gives me some pleasure and calms me down. I love some numbers such as 130 001 1130 (an example from the previous notebook) I get excited with such numbers. Once I showed a photo if it in one online group and they “diagnosed “ me online with schizophrenia. My therapist sees that too and he didn’t mention any schizophrenia, but atypical autism. Not official diagnosis though. Since I know what autism is I often find myself analyzing “oh, this behavior was a symptom” but it makes me tired. Autism to me is heavy and grey like a hippo in a dirt, but atypical tastes like waffles with vanilla filling and has a nice powder color. So this diagnosis would be more pleasant to me than just autism. 

Reply

  • I have periods (currently it’s happening) when talking to anyone is mentally painful. Now I can’t even get anything done, any project I start, i get interrupted and it drives me crazy. Sometimes I even bang my head off of a wall or want to hurt myself out of frustration. I often feel like it shakes me from inside and I can’t find myself a place. The only thing that helps me de escalate this stress growing like a volcano is my number writing. I have ideas to continue one of my sci fi stories but of course can not. I get interrupted anytime I try. At least this activity can be interrupted anytime and I can continue anytime and it’s infinite project that makes no sense but gives me some pleasure and calms me down. I love some numbers such as 130 001 1130 (an example from the previous notebook) I get excited with such numbers. Once I showed a photo if it in one online group and they “diagnosed “ me online with schizophrenia. My therapist sees that too and he didn’t mention any schizophrenia, but atypical autism. Not official diagnosis though. Since I know what autism is I often find myself analyzing “oh, this behavior was a symptom” but it makes me tired. Autism to me is heavy and grey like a hippo in a dirt, but atypical tastes like waffles with vanilla filling and has a nice powder color. So this diagnosis would be more pleasant to me than just autism. 

Children