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Noise

LivinAnxiously

Hello. I'm 31, still living at home, and I have really bad anxiety but lately this past year I feel it's getting worse, especially with noise. Around the corner of our house is a park where children go to play and hang out obviously, but they have to pass by us to get to it and sometimes they stop on the corner of our house. If I hear them It makes me so anxious, my heart beats faster, I feel sick, I can't relax. I would look out of the window wondering what they're doing, why are they standing outside our house, I couldn't relax until I seen them walking away. And that would be the same with anyone who parked outside our house as well. 

So I started wearing my headphones around the house, playing music at full volume to block out any sound, but sometimes it hurts my ears. So I bought ear defenders but with them I could still hear noise, and didn't find them helpful. Then I bought another pair of ear defenders that are reliable hearing protection against high noise levels in Industrial Settings, 37 dB. But I can still hear the noise from the outside world, my anxiety is heightened, I get frustrated and can't relax. Also my Mum Is getting frustrated as well, when she tries talking to me, I say I can't hear you but won't take my headphones off. I only take them off late at night because I know there's no noise coming from outside. 

So my question is, is there any headphones that can cancel out all noise from the outside world? Or any advice on dealing with this, would be much appreciated 

  • Sorry to read your problems

    I live near a park - and cars near my house at night, people just walking past, can make me anxious.  I like to stream films at the weekend and usually have to pause them, and then restart once I'm happy they've moved on.

    Daytime, noise around my house in other gardens could just be garden tools, dogs barking or kids kicking balls in the gardens can set me off too.  I need to understand what the noise is and where it is coming from.

    I have tinnitus not from loud music - I do have noise cancelling headphones but don't use that often - mainly used to cancel out my son who games loudly in his room next to my home office .  Loops I've not noticed any benefit (don't see what the fuss is about them) but I generally just use Echo devices: which I have in most rooms around the house.

    Noise is a big trigger for me.  I have tinnitus seems more anxiety related for me, as I don't play music loud and my hearing (recently tested) is all good.  I can't stand silence either, and listen to music on Spotify for 12-14 hours a day to mask that a little.  I also can't stand hearing people eat - so have to have TV or Echo on whilst eating.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    It's fine, I don't mind you asking these questions. So around the corner of our house is the wall of our house, then our back garden gate and another little wall then our garage. In 2022 our back garden gate got kicked in by a group of children playing football, my mum heard a bang, and she went outside to see what happened, the children came into our garden and got their ball back, then ran off. My mum reported it and it was noted, it was early morning and I was asleep at the time, I didn't hear any of this. Also my mum's retired now but earlier this year or maybe even last year I can't remember, I was waiting for her to come home and a child was walking outside the front of our house then sat down right outside our driveway, talking on their phone and eating sweets. I just get so anxious and stressed, why do they have to be outside our house, that's why I wear the headphones, I play my music loud and don't think about who's outside, I won't look out of the Windows either as if I see someone that triggers me. I should also say theirs two schools in the area a primary and secondary, so I know that at certain times I'll have my headphones on especially early morning when they go to school and when they leave school. Or we'll be out for the day and come back later in the evening when it's slightly quieter. School times I don't mind cause even if I'm outside in the garden, I can relax a bit, I can still hear them, but I know they're not by my house. I am currently on a waiting list for a counsellor but that can take up to 5-6 weeks until they see me.

  • in reply to LivinAnxiously

    It sounds as though some reality checking could help? Ask yourself how likely is it to happen? Maybe some counselling could help with this? Could you try thinking of some happier scenario's, make up a more positive version of what you're hearing? Have there been situations in your past where theres been a lot of noise that has led you to feal anxious? I'm sorry to be asking a lot of questions, but it seems that there must be an event or series of events that have led to you associating foot steps etc with something anxiety inducing.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    The noise makes my anxiety worse, then I stress over what they are doing or what is going to happen. So I'd say the noise triggers my anxiety, then imagining what worse case scenarios might happen.

  • in reply to LivinAnxiously

    I fear the only real answer to why kids do what they do is because they're kids, I doubt very much if there's any malice or even forethought in it. I do get how annoying it is and how unhelpful peoples responses are, nobody seems to understand the hell that very good hearing can be, I'm the only person in the house who can hear a lamp buzzing and the airfryer, people look at me like I'm mad when I say I can hear them, the only person who does believe me is the electrician!

    What I was trying to ask is, is it the noise alone that stresses you or does the noise then trigger things like imagining what might happen or be happening?

  • Thank you all for your comments, I appreciate everyone's advice. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way.  to answer your question about how the situation makes me anxious is, I can hear their footsteps when they run pass the house to the park, or some children have a football and I can hear them bouncing that on the way round or it will get kicked against our wall, as they go past. Or they stop on the corner by our house talking, maybe deciding what to do or where to go next, I don't know. I just don't get why they have to stop outside our house. Why don't they stand by other houses or just go straight to the park. The Doctor advised us as the headphones aren't working, the other option was to move house which at present is not possible.  I can hear them from any room in our house as we live in a bungalow, but I spend most of my time in my room as it's the furthest away from the noise, but will still wear my headphones.   my doctor said the same as you, that the music is not good for my ears and they will get damaged over time. But at this moment I would rather have loud music in my ears than hearing outside noise. I will be taking your advice and looking for noise cancelling headphones, I'll just have to do some research to find the right ones. Also thank you  for the links, they are useful.

  • What exactly is it about the situation that makes you anxious? It's worth asking the question and any others that arise from the answer, so as you know what you're dealing with and it might help you to find a silution to it.

    I do sympathise though, I have a family or two who practicly live outside and they're really noisy and the little girl has an ear splitting screach that practically puts me in a low earth orbit everytime I hear her. I don't go in my garden when they're out there, which is every day after school, and pretty much all day and most of the evening, weekends and school holidays. I've come to the conclusion that the only real answer is for me to move house which isn't going to happen yet and probably not for a few years.

    I don't use noise cancelling headphones, I have PTSD and don't feel safe without being able to hear, I've also heard very mixed reports about how good they are for cancelling the sound of human voices.

    I know that for me it's just the noise and feeling like I'm living with these children and their parents who play lots of music I don't want to listen too and have BBQ's, the smell of which make want to throw up.

  • Sorry you are feeling so anxious at the moment I appreciate it can be exhausting. Is there a part of the house where the sound is quieter perhaps, somewhere you can feel calmer? The loud music could makes things worse as Stuart333 says with tinnitus but also the loud sounds mayn't help you feel less anxious. Maybe explain to your Mum how you are feeling and why you want to be somewhere quiet. Possibly this link might help ?  Sound Sensitivity

  • in reply to clownfish

    You're most welcome - and thank you for letting me know! Blush

  • in reply to Bunny

    Thanks for adding the links for everybody, I just found them really helpful espch the anxiety one. 

  • Sorry to hear your struggling. Sounds awful. I recommend trying noise cancelling headphones–they truly work wonders-I own three sets and they make coping with noises easier.

    As someone else said, headphones are okay but the music might make it worse and if loud could damage your hearing over time. As somebody with bad hearing and tinnitus you really don’t want that.
    If you shop around you can see the reviews for noise cancelling headphones and see which are considered the best by other buyers.

    That’s what I did when I got mine. I hope you find some that work for you.

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    I'm very sorry to hear of your struggles. I suggest contacting your GP for support (which could include, for example, medication and/or talking therapy).

    In the meantime, the NAS offers some information and tips that you might find helpful::

    NAS - Anxiety

    NAS - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - "Obsessions are persistent, irrational and intrusive fears, thoughts or images that can make you feel very anxious and distressed"

  • Noise canceling headphones will be better, I am not sure they will stop everything, but will be better than ear defenders.

    Don't play music really loud it will give you tinnitus and damage you hearing.