Can a manager bring up pregnancy symptoms and grief from a miscarriage during a performance review?

I am really sorry to hear you are faced with navigating such a personal and professional challenging situation.

I am not a Solicitor (not able to offer legal advice, ditto our rules here exclude it being offered).  However, in the interest of showing support, just as if I were to have been sat with a friend over coffee discussing similar circumstances: below are my thoughts on the matter.

As others have already signposted: becoming familiar with the appropriate information, establishing and securing written communication are both key.  They are the actions which may support your decision-making / choices, plus hopefully preserve your range of options if it were to prove necessary to lodge complaint with external employment bodies.

Unfortunately, this entails you needing to read mixed situation employment legislation materials (which can be upsetting, as guidance documents often inconsiderately combine guidance on two different timeframes of early baby loss circumstances and with the information about both full-term stillbirth and also maternity leave). 

With this point of understanding and support in mind, I would hope you might be able to work through reading such information with the companionship of a trusted relative or friend.  (If that is, unfortunately, not available to you; please see the comments at the end of my post - about potential sources of  relevant support in Ireland).

As your employment is in Ireland; you might find it helpful to consult some of the guidance published by the Workplace Relations Commission (WRC):

https://www.workplacerelations.ie/en/publications_forms/

Sometimes, in such situations it is also important to understand the timeline limitations (legislation) applicable to your specific location and circumstance (as this can impact what type of complaint and redress options may still be accessible or applicable).

In particular, it might be worth understanding that, as these matters were unpleasantly raised at a later timeframe, (retrospective to the actual events i e. in a performance review), it may be possible to use the date of the performance review as the "latest event" controlling time limitations.  Via the WRC it is also possible to request an extension due to a complex scenario as described in thus WRC webpage:

https://www.workplacerelations.ie/en/what_you_should_know/equal-status-and-employment-equality/employment%20equality%20and%20equal%20status/

If you have not attended a GP appointment recently (since the traumatic experience of attending the performance review), if I were in your place, I would be inclined to request an appointment with a GP to This article (March 2025) may help to provide broader context for where Ireland currently find's itself in this particular area of employment and the impact on a person's personal life (which reputable employers can reasonably help mitigate):

https://www.lewissilkin.com/insights/2025/03/27/pregnancy-loss-and-the-workplace-in-ireland

The above article also kindly highlights the following further potential sources of external support in Ireland:

"

• External support: Employees should be reminded of appropriate support, such as employee assistance programmes or counselling. Other external support, such as that provided by the Miscarriage Association of Ireland, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Ireland and other bereavement support services should also be passed on to employees if needed.

Report of the Department of Children, Equality, Disability, Integration and Youth in relation to Pregnancy Loss (under 24 weeks) in Workplaces  - report available here."

If you have not attended a GP / Midwife follow up appointment recently (since the unexpectedly awful experience of attending the performance review), if I were in your place, I would be inclined to request an appointment with a GP / Midwife - as they will be concerned with both your physical and emotional recovery and general health post-miscarriage.  Their experience may mean they have guidance / sources of support around how you can support your wellbeing at this extra stressful time.  It might also prove helpful to have their independent experience, as a matter if record, of how the current situation at work is impacting your recovery journey following your baby loss.

Within the below NHS Ireland guidance there are links to other support organisations too.  Yet again, they have chosen to combine the guidance in the same place as that also talking about trying for another baby (which following baby loss might not be what people are yet ready to read about while working through bereavement).  However, I have included the page as it also covers post-miscarriage physical and mental health and bereavement guidance / support, plus some return to work guidance and external support organisations too:

https://www2.hse.ie/conditions/miscarriage/recovery/#:~:text=They%20may%20ask%20you%20about,trying%20for%20a%20baby%20again.

Wishing you every good fortune in your recovery.

I am really sorry to hear you are faced with navigating such a personal and professional challenging situation.

I am not a Solicitor (not able to offer legal advice, ditto our rules here exclude it being offered).  However, in the interest of showing support, just as if I were to have been sat with a friend over coffee discussing similar circumstances: below are my thoughts on the matter.

As others have already signposted: becoming familiar with the appropriate information, establishing and securing written communication are both key.  They are the actions which may support your decision-making / choices, plus hopefully preserve your range of options if it were to prove necessary to lodge complaint with external employment bodies.

Unfortunately, this entails you needing to read mixed situation employment legislation materials (which can be upsetting, as guidance documents often inconsiderately combine guidance on two different timeframes of early baby loss circumstances and with the information about both full-term stillbirth and also maternity leave). 

With this point of understanding and support in mind, I would hope you might be able to work through reading such information with the companionship of a trusted relative or friend.  (If that is, unfortunately, not available to you; please see the comments at the end of my post - about potential sources of  relevant support in Ireland).

As your employment is in Ireland; you might find it helpful to consult some of the guidance published by the Workplace Relations Commission (WRC):

https://www.workplacerelations.ie/en/publications_forms/

Sometimes, in such situations it is also important to understand the timeline limitations (legislation) applicable to your specific location and circumstance (as this can impact what type of complaint and redress options may still be accessible or applicable).

In particular, it might be worth understanding that, as these matters were unpleasantly raised at a later timeframe, (retrospective to the actual events i e. in a performance review), it may be possible to use the date of the performance review as the "latest event" controlling time limitations.  Via the WRC it is also possible to request an extension due to a complex scenario as described in thus WRC webpage:

https://www.workplacerelations.ie/en/what_you_should_know/equal-status-and-employment-equality/employment%20equality%20and%20equal%20status/

If you have not attended a GP appointment recently (since the traumatic experience of attending the performance review), if I were in your place, I would be inclined to request an appointment with a GP to This article (March 2025) may help to provide broader context for where Ireland currently find's itself in this particular area of employment and the impact on a person's personal life (which reputable employers can reasonably help mitigate):

https://www.lewissilkin.com/insights/2025/03/27/pregnancy-loss-and-the-workplace-in-ireland

The above article also kindly highlights the following further potential sources of external support in Ireland:

"

• External support: Employees should be reminded of appropriate support, such as employee assistance programmes or counselling. Other external support, such as that provided by the Miscarriage Association of Ireland, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Ireland and other bereavement support services should also be passed on to employees if needed.

Report of the Department of Children, Equality, Disability, Integration and Youth in relation to Pregnancy Loss (under 24 weeks) in Workplaces  - report available here."

If you have not attended a GP / Midwife follow up appointment recently (since the unexpectedly awful experience of attending the performance review), if I were in your place, I would be inclined to request an appointment with a GP / Midwife - as they will be concerned with both your physical and emotional recovery and general health post-miscarriage.  Their experience may mean they have guidance / sources of support around how you can support your wellbeing at this extra stressful time.  It might also prove helpful to have their independent experience, as a matter if record, of how the current situation at work is impacting your recovery journey following your baby loss.

Within the below NHS Ireland guidance there are links to other support organisations too.  Yet again, they have chosen to combine the guidance in the same place as that also talking about trying for another baby (which following baby loss might not be what people are yet ready to read about while working through bereavement).  However, I have included the page as it also covers post-miscarriage physical and mental health and bereavement guidance / support, plus some return to work guidance and external support organisations too:

https://www2.hse.ie/conditions/miscarriage/recovery/#:~:text=They%20may%20ask%20you%20about,trying%20for%20a%20baby%20again.

Wishing you every good fortune in your recovery.