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Unwanted longing for companionship

Deleted User

First, no negative, cynical or put-down comments, please.

For the most part, I am accustomed to my own company and just keeping myself busy to pass the time, but sometimes there is a sort of longing for a significant other, though I have accepted I wouldn't have the right stuff to make it happen (money, own vehicle, job, social connections, etc.) and I ignore and quash those feelings by keeping busy.

Parents

  • I was the same when I was younger, but I did some really deep thinking about it and asked myself what I wanted from others, then I realised that it's unlikely I would ever get it, my interests are to specialised, the things I'd like to share with others, there might only be 1 0r 2 in 100 people who have similar interests.

    I asked myself what would or could a significant other add to my life, there was a list, but would or could it ever be fulfiled? The answer I came to after several years was probably no. Again my interests are to specialised, I'm not very good at sharing, I never really learnt how to play with others very well, I don't like having an ill defined role. I don't want to leave space for a significant other's interests and needs. I'm fed up with compromising, compromise should mean everyone gives up a little bit in order to get most of what they want, when in fact it seems to mean I give stuff up and get nothing in return.

    I think what I want is a sort of clone of myself, someone who can do some of the things I can't do, but be willing to cope with the things I can't do. What things would I do with this mythical person anyway? The answer is not a lot, it wouldn't change my having so many allergies and food intolerances that eating out is a near impossibility, or that my body won't allow me to do the things I'd like to do, it wouldn't make me less anxious in crowds. So I decided I'd stick with dogs to go out for a walk with and cats to cuddle.

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  • I was the same when I was younger, but I did some really deep thinking about it and asked myself what I wanted from others, then I realised that it's unlikely I would ever get it, my interests are to specialised, the things I'd like to share with others, there might only be 1 0r 2 in 100 people who have similar interests.

    I asked myself what would or could a significant other add to my life, there was a list, but would or could it ever be fulfiled? The answer I came to after several years was probably no. Again my interests are to specialised, I'm not very good at sharing, I never really learnt how to play with others very well, I don't like having an ill defined role. I don't want to leave space for a significant other's interests and needs. I'm fed up with compromising, compromise should mean everyone gives up a little bit in order to get most of what they want, when in fact it seems to mean I give stuff up and get nothing in return.

    I think what I want is a sort of clone of myself, someone who can do some of the things I can't do, but be willing to cope with the things I can't do. What things would I do with this mythical person anyway? The answer is not a lot, it wouldn't change my having so many allergies and food intolerances that eating out is a near impossibility, or that my body won't allow me to do the things I'd like to do, it wouldn't make me less anxious in crowds. So I decided I'd stick with dogs to go out for a walk with and cats to cuddle.

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