struggling to cope with my sisters behaviour

hi! it’s my first time posting somewhere like this so apologies if it’s not great haha! i’m 18 and my little sister is 16, she was diagnosed with autism when she was 14. when we were younger we were quite close and got a long well but since we both became teenagers we got more distant, and for the last few years whenever my sister has meltdowns she calls me ugly, disgusting, says i should die, will hit me or punch me, will stand outside my bedroom and wait for me so she can hurt me and it’s gotten quite exhausting. i try not to react but sometimes i do because it does upset me, although i’d never physically hurt her. 

i do understand that these meltdowns are not easy for her or my mum sometimes i feel like she just takes it all out on me becuase she gets in far less trouble then she would saying or doing this to my mum. whenever i speak with my mum about it i get told i shouldn’t talks bad about my sister or that i’m being unfair. 

i try my best to be fair because i know she must struggle with things i don’t fully understand but i get bruises and it destroys my confidence when i try and look nice and she calls me every name imaginable. 

i was just wondering if anyone has any advice about how to make my mum take me a bit more seriously or how i could prevent my sister from behaving like this to me, thank you for reading!! Slight smile

Parents Reply
  • i think she has one at school but i’m in college so i’m not sure i could haha! 

    i’ve tried filming it but my mums answer is usually she won’t punish if she wasn’t there to see it becuase it’s not fair even if show her bruises so i’m a bit lost haha but thank you i appreciate it :))

Children
  • You do know that this is legally assault and you have evidence of it, your Mum ignoring it is wrong too, you should be able to feel safe in your own home and your sisters behavious violates that. Photograph your bruises too and keep them, you may need them as evidence in future if it all gets worse.

    I wonder if talking to a domestic violence advisor might help? I think you need to take some sort of action, not only for your sake but your mums and your sisters too. How long before her behaviour escalates and she starts bullying your Mum, espicially if you've moved out? With no action being taken now this behaviour will become normal for her and I think it will be a lot easier to break that cycle now rather than in a few years time. Also your sister needs help managing her feelings and learning anger management, sooner or later she's going to try this stuff on somebody who will seriously fight back and hurt her.