struggling to cope with my sisters behaviour

hi! it’s my first time posting somewhere like this so apologies if it’s not great haha! i’m 18 and my little sister is 16, she was diagnosed with autism when she was 14. when we were younger we were quite close and got a long well but since we both became teenagers we got more distant, and for the last few years whenever my sister has meltdowns she calls me ugly, disgusting, says i should die, will hit me or punch me, will stand outside my bedroom and wait for me so she can hurt me and it’s gotten quite exhausting. i try not to react but sometimes i do because it does upset me, although i’d never physically hurt her. 

i do understand that these meltdowns are not easy for her or my mum sometimes i feel like she just takes it all out on me becuase she gets in far less trouble then she would saying or doing this to my mum. whenever i speak with my mum about it i get told i shouldn’t talks bad about my sister or that i’m being unfair. 

i try my best to be fair because i know she must struggle with things i don’t fully understand but i get bruises and it destroys my confidence when i try and look nice and she calls me every name imaginable. 

i was just wondering if anyone has any advice about how to make my mum take me a bit more seriously or how i could prevent my sister from behaving like this to me, thank you for reading!! Slight smile

Parents
  • I don't think you need to be a punch bag, especially if you're getting bruises. 

    My sister used to try and wind me up and then run to my parents if I did anything, eventually I snapped and accidentally hurt her. I was a lot stronger. You will eventually do something, so you need to sort this out.

    My sister always got preferential treatment and I got less attention. It has caused me issues.

    I assume she is doing it because there are no consequences.

    I don't think it is especially autism related. I think she is just trying to make you feel bad because she gets a kick out of it. Maybe she gets bullied so is trying to do it to you. Perhaps she just isn't very nice.

    If you can't avoid her, you need to defend yourself. You need to be more assertive with your mum. If your mum does not believe you then filming it is a good idea.️

  • thank you! yeah i’m not sure if it’s directly autism related but it tends to be worse when she’s struggling a lot! 

    i agree she’s doing it becuase she doesn’t get many consequences or because she gets kick from it! 

    my mums usual answer is she won’t punish my sister if she didn’t see it happen but i also feel like my sister just knows not to when my mums around so it’s difficult haha i’ve tried filming it but my mum says it’s not still not fair so i’m kind of lost haha

    ill try being more assertive though i think i need to be! thank you so much :)

Reply
  • thank you! yeah i’m not sure if it’s directly autism related but it tends to be worse when she’s struggling a lot! 

    i agree she’s doing it becuase she doesn’t get many consequences or because she gets kick from it! 

    my mums usual answer is she won’t punish my sister if she didn’t see it happen but i also feel like my sister just knows not to when my mums around so it’s difficult haha i’ve tried filming it but my mum says it’s not still not fair so i’m kind of lost haha

    ill try being more assertive though i think i need to be! thank you so much :)

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