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Asexual to Bi/demisexual

Deleted User

I never really adhered to heterosexual norms, I don't identify with LGBT either, I don't ever intend to have kids or conventional marriage, and I always valued personality and intelligence, interests, curiousity, kindness and introspection above physical attraction.

Though I still enjoy physical aspects from an aesthetic perspective and imagination I hold a small yearning for real, tangible emotional connection.

If there were networks or opportunities where this could be explored that would still seem too good to be true.

  • I am not concerned about heterosexual norms, gender, LGBTQ+++ or anything else like that. The value of the personhood is the important thing.

  • I'm a can't be bothered, luckily being older and not meeting many people, its not something that comes up in conversation very often and I don't get looked at any more or have any offers either. To be honest it's such a massive relief, one of the things I like about here is that I often don't know what gender someone is, so I just relate person to person which is I think it should be anyway. Why should we have to focus and tip toe around someones gender and orientation? It only occurs to me to think about those things if I'm interested in someone.

  • I actually don’t like that we’re secluding different parts of queerness so much. Yes, there are different kinds of people and yes, it is nice to find new terms and language to properly describe certain experiences.
    Nonetheless, most of the time, it doesn’t stop there. It made me feel a bit excluded at times. It made me feel elevated pressure to be able to identify with a certain label. Thankfully, I live in a rather tolerant bubble, where there’s no need to “come out” as anything. I just let myself be. If I like a person, I feel like it’s because I like them as an individual, not because of gender. Those people nearly always happened to be female in the past, but I do think about men the same I do about any gender. Am I pansexual? Judging from the information I have on myself… Technically. Am I sure about it? Of course not, I’ve never even been in a relationship.

    I also strongly feel like I might be asexual. Could that feeling just be there because I’ve never had a relationship? Maybe.

    I’m not going to decide just yet and maybe I’m never going to have a label for everything. It’s fine. I’ll just try my best to fill up my bubble with people who do not care about the answer to those questions.

    Rant is officially over. SorrySweat smile

  • Okay hey so I don’t have much in terms of resources, but I can tell you you’re not alone. I have friends/family that are ace, bi, demi, polyamorous, etc. I even know a polyamorous asexual, as weird as that sounds. They’re out there. I’m just not sure how to find them, I’ve just been lucky to have landed in some social circles where non-heterosexuality is not seen as taboo.

    Unknown said:
    I don't identify with LGBT either

    That I can totally relate with, as I’m not strictly speaking hetero either, but that might be the place to look for connections similar to your experience. My personal recommendation? Try going to some LGBTQ+ events as an “Ally.” Mask as an ally for a while, because allies are welcome in that community. Then as you become more comfortable and make some good connections, maybe consider unmasking as what you really are.