Failed out of Uni—how to tolerate criticism.

Are you scared about what other people think of you, or really is it about what you think of you?
Do you feel you have you let them down, or you have let yourself down?

I dropped out of a degree course 36 years ago.
I'd always done stuff to please other people and because it was what you did, e.g. O levels, A levels, degree. But the degree, with the requirements to live away from home, feed myself, pay bills, socialise, find new friends, etc, on top of studying was too much.
I had never missed anything, but one time I sat in the rented house and watched a 5 day cricket test match rather than go to lectures.
Drinking to socialise did not help with memory or studying.

Anyway, the first thing is to accept yourself. What is it you want to do?
If you want to work, then go do that. If you are not a student you will need to earn some money instead.

If you know it is right for you, then you will be able to manage comments from others.
But you can't hope it's for the best, you have to make sure it is for the best. Whatever path you take is the path you take and you need to commit to it.

I won't say it is easier without a degree, as it opens doors, and a degree may be needed for certain professions, but it is still possible to do well if you are good enough. It is also possible to get qualifications later.
I got a HNC, work paid for me to go to college 1 day a week (was 12 hr days mind) and I mostly go distinctions as it was something I did for myself and I was more mature. You can also get degrees and other qualifications as a mature student if you need to later (I did not do this). It is not as easy, but the door is never closed (as long as you have some money).

Qualifications generally only get you into a company, once you have got a job, it is how good you are that determines how far you get promoted.
If you stay with the same company then no-one looks at the qualifications again, But when changing jobs it makes things harder, but again, it also comes down to experience, how good you are and confidence.
There are some careers where you have to have certain qualifications, if you can't do them, then you have to accept that and find something else.

So the point is you have not failed, you have chosen to take a different path. There is no point following the current path if it does not lead anywhere.
But no-one is going to wave a magic wand and make everything OK. You have reached the crunch point where you have to decide what you want, and not do what you think other people want you to do. If you can reduce the pressure to make a bit of space to think about it, it will help.

Hiya Stuart,

Thanks so much for your helpful words—they mean a lot right now. To answer your question, university is my dream, so I will be going back sometime, but for now, I think I need a break. Thank you for reminding me about my options and providing your own story. It's always good to hear from others when things seem tough.

Love,

Max

Hiya Stuart,

Thanks so much for your helpful words—they mean a lot right now. To answer your question, university is my dream, so I will be going back sometime, but for now, I think I need a break. Thank you for reminding me about my options and providing your own story. It's always good to hear from others when things seem tough.

Love,

Max