• Replies 19 replies
  • Subscribers 80 subscribers
  • Views 1800 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

How do I become a man at 36

Deleted User

Though my body has aged my mind and emotions have been stuck at 20 years behind.  Even my own parents still infantilise me in some ways and our relationship has only grown more sour.

I need to catch my mind up to my physical age of 36.  I need to navigate the skills of getting and keeping work, managing my finances, keeping a place to sleep and if I were worthy in the first place a partner (wouldn't necessarily have to be female) and friends for mutual support and survival.

I'm even getting rid of my old clothes, playstation, Lego models and other model kits and job searching at my own discretion hoping to find something to get my foot on the ladder.

I also thought about binning my old interests like computers and gaming, narrowing down my devices to the bare essentials and joining a gym to exercise as my new "special interest", besides putting more time into gardening and photography, joining adult courses for anything employable and learning how to look less autistic and more attractive.

Parents

  • Finding a job and a home of your own and managing your finances are good goals to try for. There are articles with advice on these areas in the "Advice & Guidance" section of this website which you may find useful. I think your idea of joining adult courses that may help you get a job is a good one.

    Joining a gym to exercise may be a good thing if it's what you will actually enjoy, as you may find friends there (possibly even a potential partner). But I wouldn't do it if you just feel it's something you ought to do, if it's not going to be fun I'd suggest joining a club where you will enjoy the activities.

    There is nothing wrong with trying to make the most of your appearance. New clothes can be a confidence booster if you feel good in them, and a hairdresser could give you advice about your hairstyle. But make sure you feel comfortable with whatever you choose.

    I'm not sure why you're considering binning your computer and gaming interests though - I'm in my sixties and I play games on an xbox. When I was working I didn't talk about it much as most of my colleagues weren't into gaming, but it helped me unwind and relax after work. It's good to be able to talk about things that others might be interested in such as gardening or fitness, but you can still have a hobby you do on your own for your own enjoyment.

    I hope things work out well for you.

  • in reply to Lotus

    As written in the post, I need to grow up and be a man, and that means throwing out everything that says I'm still an immature brat who can't get his crap together.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I play video games but I'm not an "immature brat". I'm a.woman in my sixties and I've been running a home and managing my finances since I was 18. 

    The saying "throwing the baby out with the bath water" comes to mind, if you know what that means? (If not it means throwing out everything, even that which is good)

    I understand wanting a complete change in your life and if you genuinely no longer want to play video games that's fine, but you shouldn't equate doing it with a lack of maturity.

  • in reply to Lotus

    I was speaking for myself not anyone else.  I apologise for the misunderstanding.

Reply Children
No Data