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Letting go of being told I am not normal.

mrs.snooks

I've posted this in my other thread, so sorry if this is against the rules. But I woke up at 4.30am thinking that this was still hurting.

Yesterday, in response to coming out as Autistic, I was told "well, not everyone is normal"

I'm really trying to get my head around this, because of course being autistic, for the life of me, I don't know if they mean that:

1. It is okay to not be normal

2. It is not okay to be not normal

3. Being normal is on a spectrum

4. Being not normal makes me a lesser person.

So, please help me understand.

I'm going to ask the advice of a neurotypical colleague of what was meant by this response. Because it is hurting still.

I mean I know I am not normal. I know I am weird (a comment from Wednesday). But I have a lifetime of this trauma to try and cope with.

I don't know whether I should call it out, feel hurt, feel angry or feel like I am 'making a mountain out of a molehill'. (Do love a good metaphor Rolling eyes) I want to improve how we are viewed in the world, but maybe like my husband advised me: I should not come out as Autistic, because it will come at too great a personal cost.

Yours, feeling sad.

Mrs Snooks

Parents

  • I can only repeat, “what is normal?” If normal is having a mind that can’t think ‘diagonally’, then I will leave normal alone to the ‘normal’ people.

    Normal is how neurotypical people want to be perceived by each other. Who says it is actually normal? It’s rules that they use, they must conform to. We just  have a different approach, yes most autistic people do  enjoy structure but are also amazingly different.
    Next time someone says,” you’re not normal,” say inside your head or out loud, “that’s right, I’m uniquely different, you can only ever be normal.” 

    Autism does bring with it many struggles but I’m growing to love not being normal, I find normal boring!

    Only my opinion, I think you have realised how exhausting masking is, you are most probably starting to exhibit your true brilliant autistic self.

    I’ve used the ‘Ugly Duckling’ story before, no you aren’t a duck, it turns out you are a majestic swan, now go and be a swan. The rest of the pond will always just be ducks.

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  • I can only repeat, “what is normal?” If normal is having a mind that can’t think ‘diagonally’, then I will leave normal alone to the ‘normal’ people.

    Normal is how neurotypical people want to be perceived by each other. Who says it is actually normal? It’s rules that they use, they must conform to. We just  have a different approach, yes most autistic people do  enjoy structure but are also amazingly different.
    Next time someone says,” you’re not normal,” say inside your head or out loud, “that’s right, I’m uniquely different, you can only ever be normal.” 

    Autism does bring with it many struggles but I’m growing to love not being normal, I find normal boring!

    Only my opinion, I think you have realised how exhausting masking is, you are most probably starting to exhibit your true brilliant autistic self.

    I’ve used the ‘Ugly Duckling’ story before, no you aren’t a duck, it turns out you are a majestic swan, now go and be a swan. The rest of the pond will always just be ducks.

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