• Replies 27 replies
  • Subscribers 89 subscribers
  • Views 3133 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Letting go of being told I am not normal.

mrs.snooks

I've posted this in my other thread, so sorry if this is against the rules. But I woke up at 4.30am thinking that this was still hurting.

Yesterday, in response to coming out as Autistic, I was told "well, not everyone is normal"

I'm really trying to get my head around this, because of course being autistic, for the life of me, I don't know if they mean that:

1. It is okay to not be normal

2. It is not okay to be not normal

3. Being normal is on a spectrum

4. Being not normal makes me a lesser person.

So, please help me understand.

I'm going to ask the advice of a neurotypical colleague of what was meant by this response. Because it is hurting still.

I mean I know I am not normal. I know I am weird (a comment from Wednesday). But I have a lifetime of this trauma to try and cope with.

I don't know whether I should call it out, feel hurt, feel angry or feel like I am 'making a mountain out of a molehill'. (Do love a good metaphor Rolling eyes) I want to improve how we are viewed in the world, but maybe like my husband advised me: I should not come out as Autistic, because it will come at too great a personal cost.

Yours, feeling sad.

Mrs Snooks

Parents

  • I don’t think I would be happy with that remark either at face value.    Not sure what they mean by that, it maybe something they said as they were lost for words in terms of not knowing what to say. I know I have said stuff I’ve regretted as I have not known how  to respond to awkward situations. 
    I’ve noticed a lot of people don’t really think about what they’re saying and have forgotten more or less moments after, especially more extroverted people. If you are anything like me I can spend hours thinking about conversations and what exactly was meant by certain comments. It’s hard going and can be painful but the only way to truly know is to ask the person. Not an easy thing to do I know…..

    I  generally do not disclose anything about myself but then I am a very private person and sometimes very cyclical of others 

  • in reply to White_Dragon

    Thank you for understanding what it was like. Non-disclosure is generally me too. 

Reply Children
No Data