I’ve been dating this man and it’s been going well – touching wood straight away – or well for me anyway. Straight of the bat I told him I am quiet and very very shy, and struggle with socialising and physical contact. I haven’t told him I’m autistic but I’ve explained about it and how it affects me, he might have guessed but if he has he hasn’t mentioned it.
I haven’t told him yet as I want to get to know him first. I worry in case he reacts badly about it, some people sadly do and to others it makes little difference. My older sister is also on the spectrum and had dated a man who seemed really nice and then she said about her autism and he treated her horribly. I don’t want this for myself.
The other day Matthew – my boyfriend – took me to his parents house. I’ve met them twice before and I like his mum but his dad is loud and not nice – he shouts at the TV – and it’s really difficult with my sensory issues. This time his dad got on to people with disabilities and was basically saying we’re useless and need to try harder. It was hard to listen to, I felt angry, then irritated and then just sad as I listened to him. He said and he and his mates at work think the same.
It makes me sad that some people even think that about me and autism in general.
Now I’m really in two minds whether to talk to Matthew about this and say I’m autistic. One thing I noticed was how when his dad went in to the massive rant about disabled people, Matthew stayed silent and unless I misread his expression, he looked really embarrassed. But I might have just misread his expression, I’m certainly no expert in these things!
Just wondered what your thoughts are on this. Has anyone here ever been in a relationship? If you have any pointers I would love to hear them.
Thanks so much in advance.