It’s my friends dad’s funeral on Friday. Help

Update on the situation I’m going through it’s my friends dads funeral on Friday and I’m really stressing out over it. I have no idea what to wear I remember my mums funeral we all dressed in bright colours no black because she always hated the idea of people wearing black at her funeral she wanted bright happy colours. My friend not helping me and I don’t want to wear anything disrespectful he just says smart clothes but hasn’t said what colour. I’m also in the funeral car with him and his family I don’t understand why as I didn’t really know his dad but he said he wants me in the car with him. I’m anxious because I’ll be with his family and I’ve tried asking him if it’s possible for me to sit down with them before the funeral but he doesn’t think it’s possible as there a lot going on. Really stressed hate being around strangers and I’ve got to put a brave face on and I hope I can do that. 

  • Nowadays, people aren’t so concerned about the right thing to wear.

    People don’t always wear black unless it is a particularly high profile public funeral, and even then, not everyone would go for black.

    If I were in your shoes, and no dress code had been issued, I might wear black or I might wear muted or neutral colours - think greys, browns, creams or navy blue. Having said that, I think your friend will appreciate your support for him. People came to my Dad’s funeral years ago, yet they didn’t know my Dad. 

  • Don't worry. Everyone else will also be stressed out and they won't even notice what you're wearing.

    I attended my aunties funeral last month, I was terrified because I didn't get along with her or her family and hadn't seen her in ten years.  There were also several more distant family members I didn't want to see or talk to.  None of these people turned up.  Funeral was dignified and respectable.