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Supporting my wife

tryinghard99

Hi. This is my first post and my first cry out for some sort of assistance. About a year ago my young child was diagnosed with autism, and recently my wife started a journey to get herself diagnosed for autism and ADHD and starting to find out who she really is. I am very proud of her, and it's been very tough for us as a couple sorting out things for our child. Now as a neurotypical person I am still learning and finding it very overwhelming and I am scared. I want to be there to support my wife and learn how to be calm, understanding through this journey. It has been very difficult so far and we have had more downs than ups but I'm looking for help or some sort of guidance of how I can best be there for my wife and learn to understand and grow with her. Anyone in this situation and can maybe give me some suggestions please? Thank you for your time.

Parents

  • I was diagnosed several years after my youngest son was diagnosed, and now my eldest has been diagnosed as well (in his 20s). My husband has been very supportive- he’s not autistic but he has a few autistic traits - so his understanding of autism is good on an instinctive level I think. 
    I don’t think you need to feel scared in any way. Your wife is the same women you fell in love with and married - nothing will change with a diagnosis in essence. The most likely outcome of your wife getting a diagnosis is that she will have a better understanding and acceptance of herself and in the long term will be slightly happier if anything. But a diagnosis doesn’t present any massive change in a persons life generally - other than a change in perspective maybe. As long as she knows you’re there for her and that you love her - and that you’ll listen to her feelings about all of this and be supportive - I think it will be a positive thing for your whole family in the long run. It’s always good to remember that there are positives to being autistic as well as negatives. 

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thank you for taking the time to respond. Slight smile

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