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Emotional connection

Kenny_1622

This will have been talked about many times but does everyone with ASD struggle with emotional connection? I find it really easy to disconnect emotionally and can be really cold with people and situations which have are emotional. I do have emotions and I do care about things but I can switch off emotionally and not consider the emotional needs of others without thinking anything bad about it, but feel bad about it when challenged. I have ASD and I'm married, my wife has told me she might be married but she is lonely because I'm not always emotionally supportive which makes me feel bad but I know I'll keep doing it and not realise I'm doing it. I've been emotionally disconnected since I was a young boy were from the age of 10 i refused to sit in the same room with my mum and let her physically connection with me because of triggers, so would isolate in my bedroom. The last time I touch my mum was when she died because I knew she couldn't touch me back, we didn't have information on ASD  in the 70's, 80's and 90's. Now I'm a 55 year old man diagnosed with ASD. Is emotional disconnection  common with ASD ?

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  • I tend to have a greater emotional connection to animals and to my dog in particular, than to humans, yet I like to be with people at times, just not all the time. I can miss cues that might indicate people are upset or worried, and I might wonder why people might be crying about something or upset with something I have said. If the reason for the upset or worry is pointed out, I would be very empathetic as I don’t like people to suffer. 

    My mother would often have said that I didn’t want cuddled or touched as a baby and that my Grandmother used to be always trying to hold me and I would struggle. Since then, I have enjoyed being held by a couple of people, but I don’t like being touched by people unknown to me or even friends. 

    i agree with Kate that you shouldn’t feel guilty as we can’t force ourselves to feel things we don’t feel. I felt guilty most of my life until last December when I was diagnosed ASD, and I finally realised that not everything about my past was my fault.

    Although guilt might not be productive in your case, I agree with others that it might be helpful to look at what could be done to improve the situation.

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  • I tend to have a greater emotional connection to animals and to my dog in particular, than to humans, yet I like to be with people at times, just not all the time. I can miss cues that might indicate people are upset or worried, and I might wonder why people might be crying about something or upset with something I have said. If the reason for the upset or worry is pointed out, I would be very empathetic as I don’t like people to suffer. 

    My mother would often have said that I didn’t want cuddled or touched as a baby and that my Grandmother used to be always trying to hold me and I would struggle. Since then, I have enjoyed being held by a couple of people, but I don’t like being touched by people unknown to me or even friends. 

    i agree with Kate that you shouldn’t feel guilty as we can’t force ourselves to feel things we don’t feel. I felt guilty most of my life until last December when I was diagnosed ASD, and I finally realised that not everything about my past was my fault.

    Although guilt might not be productive in your case, I agree with others that it might be helpful to look at what could be done to improve the situation.

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