What is something you've realised in hindsight were probably caused by Autism?

I've been saying the exact same for a long time!! I'm currently reading a book - Why can't I just enjoy things - Pierre Novellie ... There is a section on this exact thing, I was howling !!

My outstanding ability to be able to see and name every invisible elephant in the room and wonder why, not only are other people unable or unwilling to see it, but that I get told off for it. How am I supposed to know the most obvious thing in a situation is the one thing that nobody wants to talk about and seems oblivious too?

I don't know if it's from Autism, but I can't stand the texture of onions. I can get by sometimes if they are very fine. Onions like you get in gravy though make me reflex gag. Nothing to do with the taste, it's something about the texture.

My total misunderstanding with a teacher in school because I just thought she was deaf but turned out she wanted me to say please . That's just one example but there's been a quite a few moments in my life where I seem to have been expected to understand something that I really didn't understand.

General issues through life with socialising, authority and just not knowing what the "expected" behaviour was supposed to be. That I wasn't just weird or difficult.

Sensory issues with so many things - that they are legit and not just me being fussy.

There's probably a lot more but that's what springs to mind.

Could reply with a thousand things but to choose one it would be vegetarianism. I stopped eating meat over 30 years ago having only really eaten beef, sausages and the odd pie before that. When I gave up I realised I started to enjoy food more and I've never once felt like going back. The only thing was, I didn't really know why. I must have been asked hundreds of times: "why are you vegetarian" and my stock answer was always: "I don't like meat." (which was true). When pressed by a zealot wanting to have a row about animal rights I would just shrug and say: "to be honest, I don't really give a toss about animals. I just don't like meat."

After I got diagnosed with autism it dawned on me that my senses are basically all over the place but taste is particularly messed up. I gave up trying the wine in restaurants years ago - to me an expensive bottle of Chateau Whatever tastes the same as £5 plonk from Lidls - and it occurred to me that I'm actually vegetarian because I really dislike the taste and texture of meat. I'm not one of those veggies who can eat meat substitutes like mock duck - that's actually worse. Anyway, all I need to do now is stop eating so many carbs and lose about 3 stone...

Thank you, my family till today has fun of my "silly behaviour" from the past which is hurtful but I can't do anything about it 

I know what you mean with the playing on your mind. It can keep me awake sometimes and it's hard not being able to catch up with people and apologise. I'm glad you were able to catch up with one of the people you spoke to, that must have been a big comfort for you. I normally fail to do so, partially because I genuinely don't see them again for a long time, or it's where I'm too embarrassed to say about it.

I wish there was a manual for interacting with people!!

Ornithaur said:

Did you ever have any sensory issues with going to see films in cinema? The sounds made me feel like I was spinning upside down.. awful lol

I can't do cinemas. The noise is unbearable, I'm in sensory overload before the film has even started. Get the noise of the people and then film itself and even with my headphones it's still too loud. The brightness of the screen is overwhelming too.

I just can't sit through that. It isn't worth the overload and anxiety I experience.

Home cinema all the way!

I had a similar experience at a past job, except it was female dominated rather than male. I don't think it's necessarily just about gender, but rather the people's attitudes and the culture. With some exceptions of course. 

Also, I would even say that although autism might have not helped in situations like that, maybe that's a good thing in some ways... wouldn't want to 'fit in' with that anyway! 

Oh god yes, this happens a lot to me, though it happens more when I'm replying to someone else's query. I have my good little template ready for when I'm sending something, though lol. 

I wonder if you added up the collective hours it takes for the population to write "how are you?" In work emails, how much time that would be... not that I think we should strive for 'ultra productivity', but maybe so we could have more work breaks haha. 

I get the not eating bit, i also forget to drink. I will think to myself "im really thirsty" then about 3 hours later i will think to myself "im really really thirsty and i have a headache" lol.

I’m old enough to have pre programmed most conversations, if stress, anxiety or overwhelm happens then autism just shines through and jumbles everything. If it’s an  easy situation then I do occasionally have a little fun with them.

The mischievous part of me thinks that sounds like fun.

The being polite thing is because neurotypical people have a set of their rules, they find it strange that they aren’t our rules. “Hi,” is fine, it’s things like a receptionist smiling, are they really happy to see me? It’s just part of the rules, when we miss lines out of ‘the play’, it totally throws them. They were waiting for the expected reply and it didn’t come. 

Me too, the amount of times when i was younger i was told my emails were emotionless and very to the point.

Even now i find myself writing an email or message to someone, then stopping and thinking "maybe i should ask them how they are" lol.

Or if someone asks in conversation if im.ok, ill answer "yes" and thats the end of that conversation.

I did this with 2 people the other day who asked how I was and I told them, but I was rushing between clients so I didn't ask how they were, and I felt so bad after. I've managed to catch up with one of them and apologise and ask how she was, but I've not had chance with the other yet. The woman I apologised to said she didn't even notice, but at least I managed to clear my head. NTs really don't seem to think about these things much at all. Social rules are so confusing.

I'm trying to train myself to say simply "hello" or "hiya" as a greeting these days. Most people around here say "y'alright" or "how ya doing?" and I feel compelled to answer the question honestly, which 50% of the time might not be good, but they don't want to hear that and it makes them panic. Most people are just being polite and don't really want to get involved in how we're really feeling.

I really detest that generic fake small talk NT greeting of "hi, you ok?", "yeh, you?", "yeh fine". It makes me so uncomfortable at how fake it is, cos so many of these people are struggling with stuff but refuse to talk about it and instead put on a facade of a wonderful carefree life. If I answer that way it feels like a lie, and I don't like doing that.

Oh I get that, and also I never actually know when someone is genuinely asking how I am, or if it's just lla greeting. The city i live in, and common greeting is "you alright?" And even though I now know it's a greeting I still talk about how I am. 

I was very kindly informed that "soon" means when they next see you whenever that is... what always got me is when people ask me to do something and then say "if you want", and if I didn't want to I would just say that, which was apparently the wrong answer haha. 

Ahh snap fellow AuDHDer!  100% with you on that. There's films I've watched that had a very obvious sociopolitical message (or similar) like Hairspray, and didn't realise it was commentary about racism, until years later when someone talked about it. I watched it again since and can't for the life of me understand how I missed that!! 

Did you ever have any sensory issues with going to see films in cinema? The sounds made me feel like I was spinning upside down.. awful lol

Lmao me too! My brain catches up after and I think “Oh yeah I should have asked how they were too!”. My mind is focusing on so much all at the same time and when someone asks how I am it’s like everything freezes up and I can only communicate with one words.

I know I’ve goofed because I see that look of confusion on the person’s face and then they usually say something like “Oh ok, good. Well we’ll chat soon.”

And then my brain is like “Soon? When? Today, tomorrow, next week?” And that’s my thought process for the next couple of hours – unsure why people can’t say exactly what they mean.

Oh snap with ADHD!
I have both and I think it’s more ADHD why I struggle with watching stuff and focusing solely on the film. There is always lots to think about and do, and it makes focusing on films extremely challenging. By the end of the film I have no idea what just happened and don’t remember more than 2 character names lol.

Exactly, does anything else really need to be said? I think people over complicate social interactions.