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Autism and anger meltdowns

Anonymous234

I have recently been diagnosed as autistic. I am really struggling to find ways to manage and control my extreme emotions, when I am having a meltdown. I have Alexithymia which makes it really difficult for me to recognise my emotions and control them as easily. Sometimes it can come in the form of frustration or anger, especially if I'm feeling overwhelmed or not sure how to express my emotions in a rational way.

I feel a lot of shame to be autistic as well because it has impacted on my social relationships and the inability to form friendships, build a social life etc. I also feel like I can't really help how I am.

Can anyone please suggest any helpful tips or advice for me? Or share any of your experience maybe, and how you dealt with them? I really do not want to go down the medication route. I wonder if there's any other apps, as Calm did not work for me. Therapy is very limited in my area.

I am hoping someone has some wisdom. Does anyone else share similar experiences to me, so I feel less alone in the world. Thank you for reading. 

  • in reply to Nexus11

    As said, it might help if you can outline specific situations that cause particular frustration. 

  • in reply to Anonymous234

    I'm afraid I don't have much, but you can maybe help yourself by not using computers or tablets that don't have much memory or are getting obselete, avoiding laggy times. That is what drive me up the wall before. But getting a better PC would have been difficult financially, and that was the real issue really at that time.... . I just don't use computers that much any more! Most smartphones, even midrange phones, are large enough and powerful enough to get beyond that! That has helped a lot with my moments of computer rage!

    That helps less with knowing how to use certain kinds of software, such as Photoshop or Gimp, alas....do you have very acquaintances who could help with that, or with other software knowledge issues, or lack of it? 

    Google can save your passwords for you, or keep a paper notebook where you can record any new passwords or manœuvres. And ask the bank to help you if you do have a phone or small computer, if the steps are too complicated to remember. Now banks let you see your pin number on your phone app, but in that case you will need to guard your phone like a fortress from thieves and hackers. 

    Are there specific situations that cause the difficulties you would like to share? Someone else here might be able to chip in. 

    Sometimes, if a software like VLC is playing up, there will be forums that might have an answer. Unfortunately with a lot of social media, if you have an issue, there is no one to help. Just lousy help menues that get you nowhere. And as profit is the bottom line, and these things are free, things are not likely to change any time soon.

  • in reply to Nexus11

       do you suggest any coping strategies or techniques that I could to try to control my meltdowns plz? Or share your experiences maybe, if you're comfortable?

  • in reply to Anonymous234

    Thank you everyone for the kind responses! I really appreciate it. If anyone would like to add any further suggestions to this thread, you're very welcome to do so!  

  • Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Everyone has been so kind. If anyone else has any further suggestions, please feel free to comment.

  • I have a bad habit of having a meltdown when trying to deal with websites and IT that doesn’t do what it should. It’s a bad habit because it doesn’t and can’t achieve anything.. It’s the frustration when I can’t talk so someone to sort it. 

  • Never feel in any way ashamed of being what you are.
    Would you expect any Gay people you know to be ashamed of being Gay?

    No of course not

    Some of us are gay. some of us are schizophrenic some of us are autistic … by us I am meaning the entire human population.

  • in reply to Anonymous234

    Know your triggers may help, if nothing in order to know what to avoid. Unfortunately, online it's almost impossible to avoid dealing with anything that involves passwords, or whatever! 

    Avoid slow computers. I much prefer using my phone as a computer! 

  • I did have some extreme emotions I was completely oblivious of - mostly incredible sadness and overwhelming anger. I found that going on a run or in general physical exercise tends to push them out of me - not once I found myself going for a run thinking I'm completely calm and ending up in tears - all out of nowhere. 

    I find that listening to music or singing - especially when I'm angry - helps surface these emotions. I just tend to flick through the songs until something hits the spot and continue in that genre until it really hits.

    I have a long history of working through these emotions through alcohol - but I have almost completely stopped and it's a bad way, so a word of caution.

    I hope it helps... 

  • in reply to Nexus11

    Thank you for sharing your personal experience. It makes me feel less alone. Do you find any coping strategies to try to deal with it?

  • Whether or not it is meltdowns I certainly do have enty if angry outbursts. I Just hope my neighbours can't hear me through the walls. No wisdim to share alas.