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Running away from socials

Deleted User

I seem to have an issue with social groups, in that I always feel the need to join them when I'm not in one, and then to escape or run away and cut myself off when I've been in them a short time, or even a little longer.

I think the trigger is when I feel like I'm too much, I feel like I talk too much and am too over friendly initially, or I feel like I'm not as accepted as other members are. I know this takes time but I always feel rejected, even when the rest of the group probably haven't even noticed a change.

I've found a nice group on my online game and they're quite chatty at times, but again I have the overwhelming urge to quit and I don't quite know why. Maybe I'm a bit socially lonely, which would make sense I guess. I don't go out much and spend most time with my partner. Face to face interaction is too difficult so all my friendships are online or text.

It feels like a cycle and I need to talk to my therapist about it to get to the bottom of why, but I just wondered if anyone else experiences this?

Parents

  • An interesting point, I don't think I run away from social groups, I very rarely join anything and usually regret it when I do, seems like a good idea at the time but then instantly kick myself. Is that the same? I usually find it very difficult to maintain these kind of things, usually when I have free time I like to jump into my passions and anything else kind of takes a back seat. I don't tend to feel very comfortable in any community really, I know this is really in my head but hard to change your MO.

  • in reply to White_Dragon

    Yeh, very similar. It feels like a need to be liked an accepted, but then when I join I feel out of place and too different, or I don't know how to join in, or I just say the wrong thing. Comments are taken the wrong way, or jokes just fall flat. RSD hits and I have to escape.

    I need to just stop joining them I think. It feels like nobody will ever understand me, and it's always going to happen because we cant get on with everyone if there's a lot of different personalities in one place, but it still feels like I'm in trouble and I always want to run.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    You are self-aware and you know you are a nice person and you feel like you want to prove this to people by getting along with everyone in a group.

    It never really goes to plan and you get frustrated quickly and decide to bale out, more to protect yourself from the distress that will cause you - ruminating about it in the future? That's me.

    The only time this hasn't happened is socialising with a single person or in a support group of autistic adults/ND's (which is an amazing eye opener but brings a whole different lot of people's idiosyncrasies).

    I always used to consider myself paranoid but maybe (!) I am just different..

  • in reply to Boika

    Thank you so much. That's exactly it.

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