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‘Let it go’ how????

Ems

I have a really strong sense of justice and often struggle to see things in other ways. If I think I’m right about something there’s not much that can change my mind, but I am able to admit when I am wrong (reluctantly). 

I get told to ‘let it go’ a lot, especially on political and controversial topics. Something I’m really passionate about is animal rights and cruelty. I really struggle to let things go in a conversation when not only do I know I’m right, there’s actual evidence and facts to support that it is true. This keeps happening when I’m talking to my family. As it’s something I’m passionate about when it comes up in a conversation I try to educate them and it turns into an argument because I can’t let it go and can’t understand how they can’t see these facts and evidence as true and real? 

I then constantly think about it and get frustrated all over again. I hate it. Once someone has done or said something I don’t agree with it’s all I see in them. I really hate it. 

I feel like I’ve rambled a lot but I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to ‘let things go’ if that’s even possible for autistics 

Parents

  • I am similar to you in that I have a strong sense of justice that can come to the fore when people are being persecuted, slandered or treated badly. This can extend to other things such as animal welfare, politics and climate change. 

    I think as I’ve got older I have learned to think of the other person as divided into several boxes, with the ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ bits making up only a tiny proportion of the whole person. Just because I disagree with some bits doesn’t take away from the person’s inherent value as a human, and if humans are valuable, they are worth more than their opinion or action. To think this way takes huge amounts of effort so usually it’s a case of taking deep breaths/biting my lip until enough time has passed to process the situation.

    I don’t always find it easy, but sometimes it’s better to walk away and hold on to your principles. Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to be a walkover if you feel your opinion is called for. Some people seem to be better than others at assessing a situation and intervening in a way that doesn’t annoy people, but many of us aren’t. Confrontation tends not to be effective anyway - better to think of a way to direct your passion in a positive direction.

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  • I am similar to you in that I have a strong sense of justice that can come to the fore when people are being persecuted, slandered or treated badly. This can extend to other things such as animal welfare, politics and climate change. 

    I think as I’ve got older I have learned to think of the other person as divided into several boxes, with the ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ bits making up only a tiny proportion of the whole person. Just because I disagree with some bits doesn’t take away from the person’s inherent value as a human, and if humans are valuable, they are worth more than their opinion or action. To think this way takes huge amounts of effort so usually it’s a case of taking deep breaths/biting my lip until enough time has passed to process the situation.

    I don’t always find it easy, but sometimes it’s better to walk away and hold on to your principles. Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to be a walkover if you feel your opinion is called for. Some people seem to be better than others at assessing a situation and intervening in a way that doesn’t annoy people, but many of us aren’t. Confrontation tends not to be effective anyway - better to think of a way to direct your passion in a positive direction.

Children