Hi there
I am autistic and in a senior management role. It can be quite a stressful role and I thought I was doing well at handling stress, but lately I have struggled.
I managed a team of 8 people and they are expected to report progress to me. One area has failed continually and now has made a red flag for our client and also the company.
In a meeting with senior management I was subjected to the phrases "I have been waiting for this plan for 5 months and still nothing". The senior managers body languages was extremely upsetting and I just clammed up and could not talk.
I then took that as a point that I myself had failed all the problems we are xperiencing are caused by me and the negativity I was putting on myself was menace
1. I am rubbish at my job
2.. I failed my team
3. I failed the company
4. I failed me
5. I failed the client
6. I am going to get fired
These thoughts are continually going through my head and I can't stop them.
I have taken a leave of absence for a couple of weeks to try and get my head right.
I know at face value this is not my fault alone and I know I won't get fired.. I also know that I am doing a good job. But I feel I am self sabotaging myself and I am trying to stop it.
I was wondering if there were any coping mechanisms people are using that can help when these feelings hit.
I do talk about it to my spouse and close friends to get it off my chest. But I worry that if I can't get this under control, I won't advance in my career.
