Someone noticed at work

Hi all,

I'm a 49 year old woman and just recieved my diagnosis 2 months ago. I only started considering the possibility a few years ago after an autistic colleague at work said she understood how my mind worked.

After some extensive research and a course for neuro divergent writers, so many things started to make sense. I did my assessment online after numerous questionnaires to check whether I may match the criteria first.For me personally, this has helped although I understand for some it can bring up a lot of negative feelings, many of which can still bubble up unexpectedly. However, I firmly believe I did the right thing and am glad that places like these offer a safe haven for our community to discuss our similarities, differences and experiences.

Mine was more of an at last moment. I had suspected for a very large portion of my life that I was autistic but as no other person had ever mentioned it, I had doubts. In my 20s there started to be a few more off hand remarks that made me start thinking about actually getting diagnosed but I was never sure how serious the comments were. I decided to go through with the diagnosis but didn't feel confident enough to share it. And then someone said it quite directly as if it was just fact and that moment felt validating. 

I am 31 and it’s taken until now for someone to notice it. A lot of the places I have worked have not understood me and I’ve ended up in countless meetings where no matter how much I tried to explain it made no difference. It’s been a real struggle but I’m glad that I am in a workplace now where my bus is very accepting and was actually the one who recognised that I may be autistic. Since then they have supported me through the whole process including phoning the GP with me and starting the process off. She even sat with me and filled in the questionnaires that the GP sent me. I count myself lucky because I know not a lot of people have a boss like that. I’m still having to work on my colleagues though. There seems to be a lack of understanding mainly because most of the people they work with are children so they don’t seem to pay attention to the fact that an adult could only be diagnosed now. I’ve had a few tell me it’s fake or basically shrug me off when I try and say something 

My sister used to have a pieces of cloth she liked the feel of and rubbed against her face from small into her 20's.

It's strange how you can be blind to the possibility that you may be autistic, even when you feel different and do different things, you don't think of it. If someone suggests it you think, no not me.

But then if someone seriously suggests it, after the shock and doing a test or two, following some possibly obsessive research as it is your new special interest, you realise it seems to explain a lot of things that you could never quite understand before.

I'm pleased you kept your job.

I have read masking is more common in females which seems to be why they are diagnosed later and in lower numbers. There is a greater awareness now it appears, but whether you will encounter this I don't know.

You could try the masking test (25 question Cat Q Embrace Autism | The ultimate autism resource), although I found it one of the hardest to do. As an adult it you need to remember what you did when growing up, 20, 30. 40 years previously. Some becomes subconscious so you don't know you are even doing it. The more you think about it the more unsure you become of the answer.

Welcome to the community!
My teachers at school suggested to my mom that I might be autistic, I had selective mutism, but they thought I was non speaking. But my mom denied and ignored that. I discovered around 1,5 year ago what is HFA, traits and kept it for myself till I started having various problems again. Decided to describe it to my therapist with my own words and to my a bit of surprise the therapist came to the same conclusion. 
as for now not officially diagnosed, but I don’t know how it goes further. 

not sure if work colleagues knew - have a ND child (diagnosed 10 years ago) but the focus was on them and their support at school/NHS, my wife has been a teaching assistant  for 10 years at least half focused on SEN children and used to study about conditions, and would tell me "this is you, you should get tested"  I ignored, but that was perhaps 5 years prior to me reaching out for myself rather than me thinking "maybe she's right"

Try the Embrace Autism Tests as they seem to be good indicators for many , prior to going to GP or paying privately. 

Good luck too !

Nobody noticed with me. I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid so everyone just assumed it was just that. I didn’t have an “ah hah!” moment until I was reading about some jerks making fun of an Autistic individual online and I was like “Whoa, everything they are saying about them sounds like they are talking about me.”

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 50, it was after being around autistic people, mostly men that I realised I shared some of the traits, did an online test and scored well into the autistic range that I went for diagnosis, it was a relief to finally be able to put a name to all this strangeness. For some diagnosis is unhelpful and they get really upset and angry, for others like myself it's a jumping off point, it's a reason rather than an excuse of why I can and can't do some things, but looking at my life through an autistic lens has helped me to stop punishing myself and embrace life in a different way. I can be positive about not having loads of people around me, I don't feel so lonely as I used to, I feel empowered in having my most important emotional relationships with animals rather than humans, rather than worrying about it and thinking I'm weird.

Hi and welcome to the community. I'm a woman in my sixties and discovered that I was on the spectrum in my fifties. Nobody guessed it apart from me, after watching a documentary on autism.

There is a documentary available on channel 4 catchup service called Are you autistic - it was first screened in 2018, but if you haven't seen it you might find it helpful.

Welcome to the forum

Here's the NAS pages 'Before Diagnosis' in case you hadn't already seen them.  Perhaps there's some information here which might help you make that decision.

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/before-diagnosis

We can't give medical advice here - but can only speak of our own experiences & signpost you to the most appropriate care, which would normally be your GP in this instance, who would certainly be able to help (if not already) re anxiety. 

Good luck & nice to hear from you.