Hello everyone,
I've been diagnosed as autistic over a year ago now. I'm not sure whether this is autism related or just depression, but lately I've just felt so useless. My work hours have been cut down since December, as my work is very much 'seasonal'. So it's left me with a lot of down time. For the first two months I've been focusing on home renovations and DIY. But lately I've just had no energy to do anything. I'll just sit on the sofa all day, pace around the garden trying to thing of ways to fill up my time. But, every idea that pops into my head is batted back and forth of reasons why that won't work or why something will get in the way. I can't describe how infuriating this is, to the point where I'll just be sat there crying and calling myself useless. Then my partner will come home and I'll instantly be back to normal and all my woes disappear.
I used to be so independent. Now I get upset when my partner won't go to the shop down the road with me. I know I can, but when I try, I just get so overwhelmed. Why have I become so dependant on someone? Our relationship is perfectly functional and we'll both go hang out with our own friend groups or he'll be off to work all week around the country. How can I make myself better? Why do I just feel so defeated all the time? And what has happened to all this energy towards everything I love? I don't even have passion for my hobbies anymore. Is anyone else going through this?
